Sunday, December 20, 2009

my 2yr old part 2.

I guess I've gotten to the point of desperation. AT bedtime it was another meltdown. the only way we got her to stop screaming was to scream back at her:( so sad. but honestly all the talking, persuading, tucking in just doesn't work.

SO, I pulled out that book I bought a few months ago. "Raising your spirited child". I actually broke down crying while reading it b/c it is like reading about MYSELF.
and yes, I took the test and i'm still a spirited adult. sigh. NOT that that is a bad thing....but it's a child there are about 5 statements I heard DAILY from my family that really affected me and still stick with me:

"You're So loud!"
"You're just TOO sensitive Nicole"
"Calm down!"

Now that I'm older, we laugh about it. My sister now has a daughter that is JUST like the way I was and sometimes she calls her Nicole instead of Madison when she's being loud or crazy. I've been there and I just laugh and say "Thanks Trace!".haha..we have agood laugh but I realize that all those statements sort of produced a complex in me. AS I read this book I realize that I need to help Erika take these STRONG traits and reactions and use them for good. She is a wonderful, amazing child and I know she will get what she wants out of this life.

It is just so very humbling trying to learn how to work with her, meet her needs without being walked all over and to add to it, she has a mother JUST LIKE HER!. When she gets worked up, I get worked up and then we are BOTH worked up (lol) and it's just a MESS.

The book says I need to learn to control my OWN strong reactions before I can help her control hers. ....sigh. GREAT! one more thing to add to my list of things to do;). I do feel more optimistic after reading half this book tonight though. I will try to read more tomorrow.

Right now, the big thing is how crazy she's been lately at bedtime.....I realize she really needs a LONG time to wind down (unlike Megan who is asleep in 5min most nights)....I am going to try to spend some time with her in the dark soothing her at bedtime. we do the whole bedtime routine: books, teeth, prayer, songs...but I think she needs more. I wanted this to be enough but the obvious answer has been stareing me in the face for a while and I just didnt' want to aknowledge it.
She Needs MORE.
she is not Megan, she doesn't fall asleep easily, she doesn't wind down easily....she needs more from me at bedtime and I need to help her learn how to wind down. After all, I AM her mother, if I don't help her, who will?

Okay, this has been long-winded...I don't blog often and these feelings are VERY personal to me and i'm quite sensitive about them, but thanks for listening.

It's funny....I have had this fairly big revelation that I need to take most of next year off from work and tonight it hit me why.....this year Erika is going to need me more than Ever. The Lord knows what he's doing. I'm so thankful for Him. I know He will help me become the mother that both my VERY DIFFERENT children need.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Our 2yr old is taking over the house..H.E.L.P

I know at first glance of this title, most of you are laughing, or nodding and sighing thinking "oh yes....the terrible two's"...hee hee, ha ha, ..but NO. SERIOUSLY...this is beyond my parenting capabilities...on our way home tonight from dinner at a friends house... I said to Steve "What is wrong with us? ...why don't we have the patience that our friends have with their kids?".....

first off, let me say, Megan never had terrible 2's, or 3's....she did all of her freaking out the first 6mo's and has been easy peasy ever since.

Erika....oh gosh... I need advice. she is wearing me thin. I've figured out one part is that when she doesn't get enough sleep she's definitely worse. so when she doesn't have a nap that is atleast 2.5hrs long she gets over tired and the nightmare begins (like the last 2 days). EVERTHING is a tantrum or a struggle. she screams for every frustration she has and no matter how much I try to remain calm and help her, give her words etc name it we 've tried it..she still freaks the teensy tinyest things.

if she' s putting on her socks and they're crooked she starts screaming..but if I try to help her she screams even more an then rips them off and runs away. This is only ONE seems like EVERYTHING is like this lately. she hits megan ALL THE TIME, she pushes, she screams, she yells, she stomps, is exhausting just thinking about it.

she'salso taken to pooping in her panties and so I wash her off in a cold bath (don't want to do a warm bath b/c she loves baths and that would be too rewarding) seemed to work after about 4 x b/c she didn't do it for about a week but tonight she pooped in her panties again. I knew she had to poop and I warned her that she need to go on the potty but she did it anyway.

at bedtime, we told her there was no bottle b/c she wasn't behaving nicely today...that lead to a 45min melt down which eventually lead to steve and I BOTH having our own meltdowns.

she's taking over our home!!!!!!!!!!! what do we do????????????

I know the Lord expects me to be more patient... but I'm telling you I've TRIED...NOTHING gets through to this girl, she is the most stubborn, strong willed, "I will hold out to the death" type of child i've ever met.

i'm really HOPING someone has something inspiring to share with me b/c i'm at the end of my rope.
The most discouraging part for me is that I ask myself "what if this isn't the terrible two's? what if she's like this she's 18?". I wish I knew for sure this would pass.

thanks for listening....I wish I could put in more detail but hopefully this gives you a general idea.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Getting Sicker?

Okay the little slice of heaven I described in my last post is OVER. Erika has turned into a Whining machine. poor baby, I know...I feel terrible...but EVERYTHING is in a whiny voice....EVERYTHING. Steve said she spent all morning just laying on him...then all 3 of them took naps (lucky ducks) b/c both girls had fevers again. (and I thought we were on the mend. not so).
Once I got home, Steve and Megan went out to buy a new thermometer....Erika and I layed on the living room floor and read books. Then we decided to make cupcakes. 2 times during that, I stepped away for a minute. Both times, she went running to her room whining and laid on Megan's bed kicking her legs pitching a fit. BOTH times, I have no idea why and can only assume that that was her way of showing me that she was not happy I left the kitchen. ....

You're getting an idea of how the last 24hrs has been:)

the THIRD time, she did this, she kept calling me in her super whiny voice..when I finally went down there, she was just lying there and when I arrived, she continued to pitch her fit.
So awesome.
I had to laugh and tease her...what else can I do? she is so miserable and I feel so bad.
I'm actually sleeping on the floor in their room tonight b/c I don't want her to choke to death or suffocate b/c she can't breath:(:( Alyssa said they've had quite a bit more deaths with this H1N1 in children than with the regular flu.

At dinner, every time Steve tried to talk to her she would just say in a high pitch whiny voice
"daddy Moooooooo!" (which is No) and if he persisted, she would just cry. I finally told him not to look at her or talk to her. lol. I thought this type of moodiness stuff didn't start til they were teenagers?

I'm trying to remain optimistic though and remember that this will pass. positive thing about the Moosh though...she sat perfectly still while Steve and Dustin gave her a blessing tonight. THAT was surprising. A NICE surprise:) OH...and they're so sick, they both went right to sleep without a PEEP tonight. gotta be thankful for that:).....

here's to a better healthier week!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Sickness, Snuggles and Service

Well, as most of you may already know, we have been SICK!. ugh. I came down with it on Saturday night and was sick on Sunday but mostly Monday, it was YUCKY!!! the fever, achey body, sore throat, cough....blah. Is it swine flu? maybe...who knows really, but if it is, it's certainly not as bad as the regular flu. ( I hate puking and there has been none of that with this flu so YAY!).

Then Yesterday the girls started to be under the weather, megan woke with the cough and fever and today Erika woke up looking like death warmed up, poor baby.
It's been a rough week, but I couldn't let this all go by without expressing some gratitude.
Being away from home, it can kinda suck when bad weeks like this hit and you have no family to call on, but for some reason, the Lord has seen fit to bless me with incredible friends.

On Sunday night I went to bed at 7:30pm...I slept right through til 8:30am and didn't get out of bed til steve left for work. I was up for 2hrs (and feeling like CRAP, DYING to go back to sleep) when lacey called and offered to just come and take my girls so I could go back to bed. Out of my mouth came "Oh yes, that would be wonderful!"
but in my head was "WHAT? are you seriously an angel sent from GOD?! if I was rich, this service would be worth at LEAST one million dollars right now!".

She came without hesitation and took the girls while I napped another 2.5hrs. Then at 1pm she brought erika back for a nap and I napped for ANOTHER 1.5hrs! she kept megan til about 4pm! by Tuesday I was feeling pretty good again and I completely attribute that to all the SLEEP I got. LACEY-THANK YOU!

My next dillemma was that today was my first day of school and with the girls getting sick yesterday, who in the heck was going to watch them? Lacey and Lyndsey couldn't risk their small babies getting it and Steve couldn't get off work:(:( Well, as if one miracle wasnt' enough, I had Christi Lott, Alyssa Phair and my friend Chrystal all offer to take my girls for the day!
they have all already had the pig flu so they were ok with watching them (thank goodness!).
It worked out that Christi and Stephanie took turns watching them today. I was so sad to leave my sick baby girls today but knew they were in good hands and that made ALL the difference.

I want to think that I would have done the same thing in these 2 situations, but I don't know? I feel you all are SO much better than me! but don't worry, this has been a good lesson in Humility! I will for sure be there the best that I can to help any of you when you get sick! or have sick kids!! I am SO thankful for the friends and "family" I have in the church. what a blessing!!!! and more so I think that I am MOST thankful for the awesome LIVING examples of charity and kindness that I have seen in you women. I have bowed my head in HUMBLE prayer these last few nights thanking Heavenly Father for you women and pleading to be more like you.

I love you all so much and am so thankful for your service !

p.s when I got home today, Erika and Megan spent about 10min climbing all over me giving me huge snuggles and was a little slice of heaven.......sick babies are so sweet...

Saturday, October 24, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Erika Brooke!!!!

Born October 25th, 2007 weighing 10lbs 4 oz and 22" long. ...

Wow, what a day THAT was!!

Tomorrow will mark 2 yrs ago that I was in labor with Erika. I had waited 11 LONG days past my due date and was starting to lose hope I'd ever go into labor on my own.
It still feels like yesterday to me...I can't believe how fast it has gone by....I'm not even sure WHERE it has gone actually??? If someone knows..tell me!
If I may...I will reminisce a bit:)

As I may have shared before, I had a very wonderful spiritual experience in the Temple after I had a misscarriage (In between Meg and Erika) that experience I learned that there was another little girl that would come to our 6mo's later when we felt it was time to try to get pregnant again (and we did, first try), I KNEW it was girl. Steve tried to HOPE for a boy, but I knew. no doubt at all.

When we confirmed she was girl with an ultrasound (for him, not for me), it was such a cool experience. I continued to grow...and belly just got bigger and bigger....I thought I would soon pop. During my pregnancy I had decided that I would birth naturally. My experience with Megan, the epidural, the episotomy, the vacuum....ugh, well it was less than great to say the least and the recovery was worse.

This time around, I wanted to experience a Positive, healthy, beautiful labor. I'm proud of myself for all the work I did to make it happen. I read a book about hypno birthing or rather relaxation, I listened to my relaxation CD everyday while Megan napped and I prayed my little heart out that the Lord will allow me to have this great blessing of a natural child birth. SO...after 11 days past my due date, I was SO happy to go into labor.-FINALLY! that in itself was a surreal experience:)

I woke Steve up at 4am and told him I thought it was 5am I could really FEEL the contractions. we left for the hospital and driving there he just kept making me stands out so much in mind for some reason...I kept laughing and telling him it hurt and to stop making me laugh! lol....we arrived at the hospital to find out I was already dialated to a 5 which was GREAT!. I got in the tub and stayed there til about 8cm. after that I moved to a bed where my saving grace was my nurse who pushed on my back during back labor.
The whole experience, though I don't have time to recount here was amazing. I love to think back on it, b/c it was everything i could have hoped for. I had to push for more than 90min and in various positions..this part was NOT so much fun, but when that 10lb baby girl came out (at 1:36pm), I knew it had been worth it.

She was so beautiful, so BIG and so sweet! I couldn't believe I had done it! I had accomplished my dream and I will always be thankful for the Lord for listening to my endless prayers during that time of my life. It was a blessing I wanted so bad and now I have it to cherish forever.

Erika grew quickly and soon became known as "The moosh" "Gaga", "mooshy","Ca-ca" (though that one was short lived), and many other silly little terms we have for her.

Now at 2yrs old, I can say she has brought this little family A LOT of joy the last 2 yrs.
She is Always making ALL of us laugh!! She is fun, SPIRITED, fiesty, cuddly, silly, energetic, smart, adorable, and beautiful -inside and out!.

I love her curly hair, I love her green eyes, I love that smiles when she is being naughty, I love that she runs up and hugs my legs so tight and then runs away, I love that she asks me to scratch her back by just laying on my lap and lifting up her shirt, I love that she says "I you mama" which means " I love you mama". I love that she is so expressive with her face, I love her big squishy nose, I love her smile, I love her chubby little thighs, I love her independence and how everything lately starts with " I DO!" or "I SEE, I SEE!"...haha.., I love that she is POTTY TRAINED already:), I love that she loves me:) gosh, I could go on and on...she really has my heart. all of it. I love her so much. she is so much like I was as a little girl and I feel like I can relate to her and all her crazy emotions:):)

I'm so thankful to know, when the times get tough, that she is meant to be in THIS family. Looking back on that temple experience 2.5yrs ago, I know that the Lord has a plan for us and for families. I know that Erika was meant to come to OUR family and that I was meant to be HER mommy!... I'm so glad for the plan of happiness that she can be ours forever.
Happy Birthday Mooshy. We ALL love you!!xo
Here's a few pics from those early days, and up until now:)

Me at 36.5wks pregnant

Me at 39.5 wks pregnant...I went for more than 2 wks after this!

Look at that cute face!

SO happy!!

4.4mo's old...her first 2 bottom teeth broke through that day!

about 9mos old...

1 year old birthday!

About 7.5 mos old...

learning to crawl! haha...

Having fun! about 5mos old...

with her adoring big sister!

She foune a red lipstick! haha...7.5 mos old...
Learning to walk!
At pig and pancake..this summer
Now, THESE are funny!! I decided to do a little afro on her hair a few weeks ago...I LOVE this kids hair,it is so "woggy" as Megan calls it...I caught some of our Typical Moosh facial expressions:)

One of my favs...

A close second for sure! haha
and this was earlier this summer....

I love you Erika:)
(megan is so beautiful!-when I look at this picture, I make a mental note to myself to never actually let her wear makeup as a teenager!)

These last two I took about a week ago. they asked me for a makeover! here's my two girls "Glam Shots". Awesome eh?!!! lol
I LOVE the smirk on her face here! hahaha

Couponing deals....

Okay... so I've only been doing this for 3 wks I guess now...and I love it! I know what everyone means about not being able to spend full price just bugs me. I feel so HAPPY being frugal...funny eh?
So...I had to share some great deals I got at Wallgreens this week...they are quickly becoming my favorite place!!
First I'll lay everything out at regular price and then I'll show you how I got it at the price I did...which was AMAZING!

Ricola cough drops $2.49 each x 6=$14.94
Trident Layers gum $1.49 x 2 = $2.98
Glade Reed diffuser room freshener $9.99 (my favorite deal of'll see why)
Theraflu and Triaminic products $6.99 each x 6 = $41.94
Bumblebee Tuna $1.19 x 6 = $7.14
Bandaids $2.29 each x 3 =$6.87
Panty liners $.99
Purex Laundry detergent X tra strength 32 loads $8.99 x 2 = $17.98

TOTAL $102.83 (YIKES!)

NOW....what I Paid for all this:):)

Ricola cough drops (coupon 2/$3, 2 coupons for buy one get one free, and another .50 coupon used twice) = $5.00
Trident Layers gum (buy one get one free coupon) $1.49
Glade Reed diffuser room freshener (in store sale $5 off, making it $4.99 and then I had a coupon for $4 off) = $1.00
Theraflu and Triaminic products (on sale for $4.99 ea. / $9 in coupons from the paper/ $8 in coupons from the flyer and a $8 register rebate for my next shop). I bought all this in two orders. = $12.94
Bumblebee Tuna (in store sale for .55 /can)= $3.30
Bandaids (in store sale for .99 ea) =$2.97
Panty liners (in store coupon for .79)= $.79
Purex Laundry detergent X tra strength 32 loads (in store sale -buy 1 get 1 free) then applied my $8 register rebate and a coupon I had for $.50) = $.49!!!!!!!!!!!! (yes, seriously...2 laundry detergents for $0.49)!

TOTAL: $27.98
(I actually think I forgot a coupon somewhere b/c when i counted up my 2 receipts yesterday it was even less than this, but you get the picture!!)

I have only spent a few extra hours a week doing this stuff and sure I drive to a couple extra stores but to me IT IS WORTH it!!:):)
thanks again to Alyssa and Katie for teaching me how to do this:):)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Drum roll please.........

After 1 week of Erika in panties and only 1 accident...I think it is safe to say (knock on wood) that we are potty trained! we have had a few outings and she goes in public washrooms (YAY!) and no accidents!
So proud of my little girl! My goal was both girls Potty trained before 2yrs old. She will be 2 this Sunday:)
here's a little video of my angel:) She is seriously so cute, I can hardly stand it!!

My beautiful family....

So of course while my family was here we had to get out alone! (sans kids)
so I was able to do my sisters hair/makeup which I love doing and we all went for dinner. We had so much fun just being crammed in one car all together. Dinner was fun and the ride home was even more fun. I realized my mom is hilarious since she got sober and she was such a joy to have around! she was always laughing at everything which just made for a cheery atmosphere! I love you mom, dad and Trace!
here is my beautiful family. Love them SO much!!

Isn't she gorgeous? I've always admired her beauty! Oh..and she's 16wks pregnant here!!!:) Look at those dimples. she is adorable to me. I love her so much.

the 3 of us crammed in the backseat! love it:)

My mom and dad. They've been divorced for 27yrs and are still GREAT friends!! I love them for being friends b/c it means I can be with both of them at the same time and that means so much to me:)
p.s Ain't my dad handsome? we need to find him a girlfriend!!

"Buddies". My dad and Steve are 2 peas in a pod. they totally egg each other on and both have totally dry humour...I love being around them!

Oh my gosh..okay we laughed at this picture of my dad til we cried! we kept teasing him that we were going to use it as a profile picture on a dating website to snag him a girl!

On the way home....



Taking time for Him

I had to post this video. The message in it has touched me personally this week. The last few weeks have been REALLY rough on our family. My friend Lindsey Woolsey talked to me a few weeks ago about her journey with daily scripture study and prayer and I was touched. It's something I've been trying to fit into my day better for a long time. I made a promise that night to my Heavenly Father that I would never go to sleep again at the end of a day without reading from my scriptures. I began to do that but then when things got really difficult recently, I realized even more the importance of taking ME time each day. not time on the computer or cleaning the house, but time to be with the Lord. To read my scriptures, pray, write in my journal and just ponder about eternal things. I have been doing this during Erika's nap and Megans "quiet time". I call it "Mommy's quiet time". I think the results speak for themselves. If you ask the girls or my husband they will tell you how much nicer things have been around here:) I feel happier, I feel more able to handle the tasks and challenges of each day and do it with a smile.
I urge you all to take time each day to contemplate the "bigger picture". Life is so much more than the day to day mundane things. I'm so thankful for the Lord and all He has done for me. I'm grateful to be able to know what He would have me do each day.
I am so thankful for a family that I love so dearly.

The best surprise EVER!

Those who are close to me know that by Mid September I was hitting my thresh hold for missing my family. It had been almost a year since I'd seen my sister Tracey and I was filling VERY sad and lonely down here. Megan was also sad and complaining that she couldn't go any longer without seeing her best friend and cousin Maddy:)
Well...I seriously had NO idea but this was the best surprise ever.
My dad arrived on Wednesday and I was so happy to have him here.
Thursday morning I got up and began to get ready for meg's bday party that day..
while blow drying my hair someone knocked on the door. Steve yelled at me to get it. I thought that was weird but I walked to the door with half dry hair and opened it.
There stood my MOM! I was in total shock and it took a minute to process what was happening...."Okay, mom is here to surprise" I hear myself say in my mind...then all of the sudden, I look behind her and there comes Tracey and Maddy coming up the stairs, I FREAKED OUT!! I was crying so hard and totally surprised. it is safe to say no one has ever surprised me that well before.

I just kept saying how it was the best surprise i've ever gotten..and it was!
I love you mom and Tracey!!

Here are the series of pictures of me opening the door...I didn't even notice Steve behind me snapping pictures! ...I wish he had pics of me running out to Trace but oh get the idea. I was SHOCKED:)

This was after a 5min hug and me BAWLING my eyes out!! lol

Together at last. they are only 6mo's apart. You'd never know it, Maddy is SO tall!

Me and my big sister! I LOVE YOU TRACEY!!!

YAY!! It was the BEST feeling having them all there. I love my family so much!

His parents would be proud...

Our friends Dustin and Lyndsey are quite the funny pair. I love hanging out with them b/c I'm always sure to laugh!
The other night they were here and Megan had just gotten home from Ballet...Dustin took it upon himself to have Megan teach him some ballet moves. He thought we were going to snap a picture but didn't realize we were videotaping him:) disregard my snorting in the background.

Megs surprise...

here's meg getting her new bike!!

So it goes. Post 1: Megs birthday

Okay...I've been putting this off for....well over a month now. I'm SUPER DUPER behind on blogging, I know. I'm going to try to catch up today.
it has been a busy month.

Megan turned 5 on Sept. 22nd:) I can't believe it really...I mean 5! when did I get a 5yr old? geesh....scary.
She is such a beautiful little 5 yr old though I tell you.
We of course had to plan something special. aside from getting the huge Chuck E Cheese party ( that will be posted later) we wanted to give her a special daddy/mommy date.
she decided she wanted to go to Red Robin and then Mini Golfing:) Well..actually she wanted to go bowling but the lanes were full so we went mini golfing instead and she actually did very well and loved it!
We used to go mini golfing with my dad alot when we were little so it was fun for me to go with my own daughter.

Here is the bday girl in the morning....she wanted streamers and that's what she got! I didn't get a pic of her coming out of her room darn it!

with her new stamp set:)

bday breakfast with the poytresses

The moosh just kept asking for more whip cream. figures.

This was later that day getting her new bike..she was SO excited!!