The Book of Mormon...

So, it has been 5 mo's now that I have kept my promise to the Lord that I would read the scriptures every day no matter what. I had gotten into quite a rut, getting so busy that I was just not making time for it. I got fed up with myself because I have always had a testimony of the Scriptures and especially of the Power of the Book of Mormon in my life. When I read it, I feel closer to Jesus Christ and I feel a peace in my life that I cannot get any other way than by reading the scriptures (and living the gospel of course).

I have more personal revelation in my life and I am definitely more able to be the kind of Mother and Wife I want to be. I feel that I am blessed with more patience with my children and am better able to handle the stresses ( and there have been A LOT lately!) that come into our lives. I feel closer to my husband, and closer to my Heavenly Father. I just dont' think there is anyone out there that could not benefit from reading it.

Anyway...I have been feeling especially grateful for it lately and know that I need to share my testimony of it more often.
So, here it goes.
I DO KNOW that The Book of Mormon is True. That it is the Word of God, as is the Bible. I know that it brings those who read it closer to Jesus Christ.

I found this video on www.lds.org today and just LOVED it! this is Elder Jeffrey R.Holland, he is one of the 12 apostles and his testimony is powerful. I completely and whole heartedly stand by and testify of everything he says here. check it out, it's only 4 min long. the last minute is important so watch it all the way through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkKblIMfmjI

I love you all my friends:)

Race for the Roses Half Marathon...

Hello, I'm back:)

So thuoght I should update on my progress

So...after the Vernonia race didn't turn out to be so ideal I quicky went searching for another.

I found Race for the Roses but it was only 8days after the Vernonia.
I rested up good that week to make sure My legs and knee would be (hopefully) recovered.

I only got a total of 5 miles ran that week b/c I needed to rest...so it was a bit risky but I felt okay about it.

The race was at 7am so I had to be up at 5 to eat and leave by 6am. It felt strange going to a race completely alone but when I put my mind to something, I just have to do it:)

this race was completely opposite from the other...it had over 5,000 people in it between the 3 races: Half marathon, 10K and 5K.

The race starts out going up a small hill toward the Broadway bridge, over the bridge and down Naito until you head up hill for a mile and half to Barbur...I knew this would be a challenge...it is hard to push your self that hard for 1.5 miles to try to keep at your target pace (mine was a 8min mile page target). I have not trained for hills at all and now I regret it. I will be doing that next time:)

anyway...I was SO dead by the time i got to the top of it that I couldn't even enjoy the slight down hill that followed. The next 5 miles is through down town a series of ups and downs as you slowly climb to the NW.

Up until 11 miles I was still on track to hit my 8mile pace but I would have LIKED to have been 2 min more ahead (dang hill!) b/c I knew i would have to account for the fact that miles 11-13 would be slower than an 8 min pace. I was right and when I hit a huge hill at mile 12.6 I wanted to DIE! My legs just couldn't move any faster and trying to climb a steep hill seemed overwhelming...about 3/4's of the way up it, I walked for a bout 10 sec when I told myself to just keep moving!!!

I pushed through it, PAINFULLY and was able to finish the race at 1:46:41.

Had I been TWO MINUTES FASTER I would have hit my 8min pace goal:( Oh well...I feel good about it considering I had just run a half marathon the week before.

My overall pace was 8:08 per mile.

I placed 100th out of the total 1,472 women that ran the Half marathon

and I placed 26th out of the 264 women in my age group (30-34).

SO....In some ways I did reach my goal, b/c my other goal is to place in the top 10% so in both these cases I made that:)

I am starting training AGAIN this Monday and this time plan to step it up with a lot of strength training so hopefully I can hit or BEAT the 1:44:30 goal I have. I've learned from all this that it takes MORE than just running to get faster. I need to strenthen my core and my legs and my arms...so that's what I plan to do:)

stay tuned:)

here's some pics of me coming to the finish line.....

Feeling SO exhaused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vernonia Half marathon...

Wow. Where do I start? To say I am disappointed would be accurate, but to say that it was pure comical craziness and yes I am still glad I did it would also be accurate. I followed through with a committment and goal and that feels great.

It wasn't until this week that we started to think it was going to rain on the race, possibly very hard. I adjusted to that. no problem. It's just rain. As the day approached, we realized we might be running into hard winds. Okay...a bit more challenging, but we're still going to do it.

then Friday night the forecast shows a winter weather warning. 3-5" of snow overnight. WHAT? I didnt' know that Vernonia is 2000ft above sea level. didn't know any of these things.

When we started heading up there saturday morning, I was still very optimistic that this was going to be a GREAT race!.....as we got into Vernonia and were following the trail, I could see that it was covered in 2" of slush. Slush is slippery I thought and I know how paranoid I am running on anything like that, I don't want to break a leg!...the conditions got worse and I started to face the reality that this was not going to be the race I could set my personal best record on. That was the disappointing part for me. I had prepared myself physically and mentally for a race where I could run my heart out, a city race. Not an array of obstacles through the mountains:(:(

We finally all agreed (me, steve, Lee and Val) that we would just have fun and try to finish this course!

We bundled up REALLY warm, b/c it was 32 degrees(yes, that's freezing). The first 2miles was an out and back along a CLEAR paved pathway. flat. Perfect!! This might not be so bad I thought, lol.

As soon as you pass mile 2, you head up hill..... FOR 6 MILES over slushy paths. My knee was really starting to hurt around mile 6 which was a bit worrysome b/c I have NEVER had knee trouble in my 4mo's of training. I can only attribute it to the steady up hill climb the whole way.

Anyway, back to the race....So.. THEN (sorry, i'm actually laughing to myself when thinking back on it) at mile 8 you hit the TRAIL!....yes for the next 5.1 miles it is still up hill and a mix of deep MUDD, Gravel, SNOW, and in some places completely washed out so at one point around mile 11, I had no choice but to step into 6-8" deep water. I'm not sure how deep it was exactly but it was ankle deep filling both shoes with water:) .

The whole race I kept thinking to myself "When is it going to flatten out??!! When will it go back down hill???". At Mile 10 there is a 100ft straight down drop....but only to find a much longer steeper up hill again for the rest of the way. Poor Val fell down the hill it was so slippery and gross. when you finally hit what you think is the end, then send you up another steep incline for the last probably 500 yards. alot of people walked it, I tried to run it but I think my running at a steep incline was slower than my walking would have been! lol.

Steve had passed me back at mile 8 and so I was pretty happy to see his smiling sweaty face at the finish line. Actually at mile 8, I tried to grab a cup of water at the water station and he smacked my butt to which I CHOKED on the water and took off running after him! lol

I fell about 10min behind my goal, but considering the condtions I was actually surprised with the time I got. I still placed 3rd in my age group out of 60 women, got a cute little ribbon, won a Peach pie and got to hang out with great friends along the way:)

Unfortunately, I didn't go to run an obstacle course.....I went to run a fast race and set a personal record...so now I am trying to find a race in the next 1-2wks so I can run another half marathon with hopefully better conditions and preferrably on roads!;) I have not given up. One guy said I did really well ( to which I rolled my eyes-he didn't knwo this was a ridiculously slow time for me) but told me to think about it as another training run.....so that's what I'm doing. I guess that was my saturday long run for the week!....hopefully next week's race is better:)



and Steve, amazing! i can't believe he ran an average 8:19 mile through those conditions! he is a runner for sure and I'm excited to see what he can do with this sport:) I love him and I'm thankful he decided to run with me.

Me, I ran an average 8:37 mile:) a good time but considering my last half was a 8:21 you can see why I'm not doing jumping jacks:)

can't wait to get back out there and hit that 8:00mile pace for my next half:):) Like I say to Megan, "NEVER Quit!. We are NOT Quitters!":):)

we have BUNK BEDS!!!

Last week, we finally bought bunk beds for the girls! the whole process was SO exciting for me. I had bunk beds growing up and shared a room with my sister Tracey until I was 14. I loved it! I miss it. There's nothing like sisterhood:)
Steve, being so handy, had no problem putthing them together...but he let Megan and Erika help him. I love that he lets them help and actually teaches them to do REAL stuff...they dont' just pretend to help, the really do! so here they are:

(look at those curls!)

This one was taken in the dark when they were actually asleep that night. SO cute!!!

Sugar and spice...

"Sugar".....

"Spice" lol...she got into my lipgloss. enough said.

WOW...it's been a while....

Well, I am a TAD bit behind on my blogging. sigh..I just dont' make the time or have the time..whatever. regardless, I'm behind:)So...where should I start? well...after my trip to Connecticut I went to Canada:) I was able to visit with my mother in law, and my two sisters:)
Steve's mom gave us a car which has been the biggest blessing ever!! I am able to get out more and feel so FREE!!! thank you Sharon. I am forever indebted to you!

so...here I go.
Steve took us to the airport...the girls FIRST trip on an airplane. We were all very excited.I was a BIT nervous about how it would all go. Me with 2 kids, lots of luggage and no husband. The girls were great! they stayed in tow through the airport and listened well...thank you God!

Here we are at the airport!

waiting at our gate:)

Erika clapping! she was very excited!

This is megans "excited face" lol...just wait the next one is better!

LOL!

Then we headed to my sister, Tina's house for a day. It was so nice to see her, Jaime and My niece and nephew jessica and joel. Love them!!

My sister Tina and Jessica above.

Tina and I below. She is my oldest sister:) We're 4.5yrs apart. I have made it a goal to get up and see her more often. Love you tina!

meet "Stash". Erika talks about him Often. VERY often. she loves cats and she LOVES Stash:)

Then it was off to my other Sisters house Tracey! she was 38wks pregnant and it was also Madison's 6th birthday party! so fun!!

Erika, Megan and Maddy. Funny that Erika and Maddy actually look quite a bit alike:)

Megan and Maddy. BEST friends! and cousins:) they are only 7mo's apart.

I woke up Erika from her nap to get outside for the birthday party! she just looked so cute with her messy hair and rosy cheeks:)

The Party. Discussing the details of the scavenger hunt:)

Then there's Erika and Noah...they are only 3mos apart. Noah is older. He is HILARIOUS! I hadn't seen him since he was 1 and seriously..this kid should be an actor. he has SO much energy, gusto and enthusiasm about EVERYTHING! when he's eating something he likes he says in a very LOUD excited voice " I LIKE IT!" lol...you have to hear it to know how funny it is!

we found them one night on the bed just playing...they are so cute! At first Erika called him Nona. but it only took a few minutes to get "NO-AH" down pat!

Erika and Noah tucking themselves in!

Being goofy!

well....I'm not sure why I can't find any pics of Trace and I but anyway....that's all for now. will post some more shortly:)

The first time.....

This is the first time I'm going to say talk about this publicly...and to tell you the truth I'm not even sure why. I think I will just feel better if I get it off my chest.
Depression runs in my family. I had never had to take anti-depressants until Erika. I had really bad post pardum after Megan but tried to do it on my own. That lead to 18mo's of ....well for lack of a better word, Hell. It was a very trying time for Steve and I. I promised myself if I went through it again after Erika I would take something for it...and I did. I got on Zoloft 2mo's after she was born and I'm so glad I did. I actually got to enjoy her as a baby. I could cope with the sleepless nights and the screaming. I felt like the most normal version of myself in years. When she was 14mo's old I weaned off of it. I did not want to be on that for the rest of my life. I did great for about 6mos but started to struggle again. There has been alot of social issues the last 18mos that I have never really dealt with before and that seems to trigger it for me as well as all the day to day struggles of just being a mom. I think I'm doing okay but then I wake up and I just can't fight it. I try...I go through the motions, but inside, I'm anxious, sad, feel like crying and impatient with my children. My running has helped A LOT to keep me in better spirits, but this morning was the first time I didn't get out of bed on schedule. I just couldn't fight it. I feel like poop!.

I'm taking some 5-HTP and GABA and Fish oil and most of the time it seems to do a pretty good job but then something happens and I just seem to plummet into that black hole. it sucks. yup....that's pretty much all there is to say about it. It just sucks. There's nothing anyone can say to me when I feel this way that makes it better...I just have to ride out the storm and try to find things that help. Usually the only solution is just reading my scriptures and praying for the feeling to go away, praying to not be so sensitive to others actions.

I think I finally decided to put this out there b/c I have a friend in Canada who is havig a hard time right now and I was talking to her and she said "all my friend are bubbly and always happy". In my heart I thought..."it only SEEMS that way".
I know that some people who don't know me very well might think that everything in my life is always hunky dorey....my own family I think might think that alot.....but it's not the case. I am pretty good at whining and complaining lol, but rarely do I actually share with my friends or family how much I'm actually hurting inside. I don't say that for sympathy but more to help anyone who might be feeling out there like they're the only one who suffers from depression...you're not. and it's okay. ....it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with us..it's just a trial we have to deal with.
I try REALLY hard to keep mine under control, I exercise b/c that is supposed to help and I take supplements for depression.....but sometimes on some days..it still slips away from me.

If anyone reading this has a history of depression and has anything they want to share, go for it!:)

I hope that tomorrow gets better and somehow I can make up for my run I missed this morning:)