Too Many Girls

it's about time....

2010-12-05T19:55:00.001-08:00

Gosh...every night i lay in bed and think I need to be blogging about my days!!! but I never do. I am going to try to at least blog about the important things....
like how my mooshy and meg are growing up so fast.
I know if I don't start writing things down I will forget.
Like Erika and all her cute words....
"I know Nat Megan!!!" (I know that)
"Mommy, I WUV you!"
"Wook!" (see the trend? she can't say her "L's" or "R's")
"Toefy" (that is actually "toy story 3". it's a blended word she created lol)
"dats DE-Wiss-shus!!" (delicious)

she says hilarious random things too....like the other day we were talking about someone and she said "yeah, he wike Santa- Santa Tiny bit Scare-wy":) lol....

Megan has her own share of funny things these days.....
she watching toy story 3 and when they put Buzz in a time out I hear her blurt out in a very ticked off voice "Oh sure!, just because he's a FAMILY MAN, you put him in the time out chair!!"
when I looked at her and said "megan you are SO funny!" she says "yeah? are you gonna put that on Facebook? lol"

Erika has been asking if she can check her email too...oh boy...it starts. ha ha.

I just love my girls so much. I have been working so much and been so busy training these girls for next year among other things that my time with them has been limited. I hATE IT! we've had a lot of tears and stress around here. I can't wait til things calm down. I am making changes to ensure I have more down time next year:):)

Last night I took Megan to the movie "tangled" and it was so awesome! I loved having her on my knee and eating treats together! we even danced in the hallway to the fun music after!! I just love her so much!!
anyway...thats all I can think of now!
I mostly just want to be able to read back on this later!!!

STEVE HACKS THE BLOG: Some recent pictures to go along with this.

Erika Brooke Wagner 3yrs old!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

I know I have been a crappy blogger for ...well, most of the year! but I had to find 5min to write something about my little mooshy!!

Erika will be 3yrs old tomorrow. I can hardly believe it...it feels like it's been FIVE years! ha ha...i'm just kidding....
I wanted to write a few things that I think of when I think of the last year of her life:

*She started talking....FINALLY! we were getting really worried....
since then we've enjoyed some fabulous phrases like:

"me....you fill in the blank". ...
Me like it! Me no like it! me no want to!, me happy!, me cranky! , me tired! me sad!, me miss papa, me want to go park!....etc....as often as we correct her..it is always "me".....
this last week she has started to use "I" a few times....very exciting!

She has started to become alot more interactive with children....her and Megan can actually play make believe a lot more b/c she can use words and talk!

Something else that has become a very consistent "Erika-ism"...is that she WILL NOT listen when we ask her to get dressed or put her shoes on...she has been left inside while we get into the car on multiple occasions.....sadly she hasn't learned from the consequences:) (what are we doing wrong?!).

She finally adjusted to Nursery and really loves it! they even say she is good at sharing in there....wish i could say the same for at home;)

She has also become a very compassionate kid (most of the time)...she loves to help out by getting us things we need and offering to help.

Sleep this year.....hmm....I discovered that she HAS TO nap or we get nights of insomnia..not fun with a 2yr old

she got her first REAL bike!!! with training wheels and is really good at riding it.
Every day after school, Megan, AJ and Erika play on their bikes outside...it has been one of the happiest things I've seen all year! it reminds me of when I was little and would ride bikes with my sister and friends everyday.

Erika is a true joy to our lives and also a true test of our patience. I could not imagine life without her....I asked Lacey today:
"Why do we have children like this??!!! ( i was frustrated as she was screaming at bedtime again)
and Lacey replied:
"Because WE Were children like this!"
well put, Lace. lol

Erika Brooke...we love you! you add so much spice to this family! I can't wait to see you grow up!

Here are some pictures of the last year of her life!

Teach the little Children

2010-06-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

It has been on my mind alot lately.....My children. I keep feeling an urgency about teaching them the gospel in the home. It is great that they learn at church but they need to be doing most of their learing in the HOME.
I have been reading some great talks from our recent conference by the 12 Apostles and our beloved Prophet. It has just been weighing heavily upon my mind.
I even brought it up to Steve 2 nights ago b/c I feel a bit lost.

I feel like we're in a bit of a weird circumstance.
I didn't grow up in the church.
Steve didn't grow up in the church.
Niether of us has ANY family in the church or any point of reference when it comes to children being raised in the church. I have no mom, dad or inlaws I can call to ask my questions to about family home evening ideas etc. It is very discouraging some times.
I love the Gospel and I have a huge testimony of it, but I'm not very good at knowing how to teach it to my children on their level.

I thought about writing this post to ask my LDS/Christian friends to share some of their experiences from growing up that they think impacted them in learning the gospel and gaining strength in the home. Perhaps things your parents did RIGHT that has helped you in your life in regards to spirituality. SO.....Please share!

**I had to share an experience though that I just had at the church bookstore .

We went b/c Steve needed to get some things and the girls always love to sit in the comfy chairs and read the childrens books. Anyway...when we first walked into the bookstore today, Megan and Erika ran to the chairs. Erika walked over and picked up a book and held it tight under her arm. I knew it wasn't a kids book b/c it was soft paper back. I paid no attention and walked to the back of the store. they sat for a minute then got up and followed me. I noticed she still had the book tightly under her arm,
"can I see?" I asked
"no, mine" she said gently. she seemed to be very protective of this book, which I thought was funny.

we kept walking around and found some nice kids books for them to look at . When we sat down, I asked again if I could see what the book was, she reluctantly let me look at it......

the book was: "Arming your Children with the Gospel"-"creating opportunities for spiritual experiences"

I was about to place it back on the shelf when I felt a gentle prompting to buy the book and that it wasn't an accident she picked it up. There were no other books like it on the shelf where she grabbed it from, it was the only one I could find. must have been left there in the wrong place by "accident" :).

you can call it a coincidence. I choose to call it an answer to my prayer last night when I asked the Lord for help and where to go and how to know how to start better teaching the gospel regularily to my children.
I love our Heavenly Father and in moments like this I am reminded that he Loves ME!:)

I've already started reading it and so far it's just what I need!!

Oh Lacey....

2010-06-04T19:58:00.001-07:00

This is my good friend Lacey. She's always up for a little fun....I am doing some new before/After shots for my website and she is one of the beautiful ladies I have chosen to feature. Of course when I ask her to stand there and smile pretty...she gets the "silly's":) I had to post these b/c they are just funny....and note the Cat Pose below...and see if you can find one very similar of her Brother on Steve's blog a few months ago lol.
You'll all have to wait for the real before/afters to get up on my website in the next few weeks.
thanks Lace, you're a great sport!!! (and super photo-genic!) xoxoxo

wouldn't this make an awesome "After" shot? ! LOL

You can do better than you think!

2010-05-19T17:40:00.001-07:00

I know....I am a blogging machine lately. I just figured I should write down my thoughts more often. not sure if anyone reads them but there is something therapeutic about writing.

Today I got up and it was SO hard to motivate myself. I haven't run since my 5K race on Saturday...I've just been lazy and unmotivated...you'd think doing so well and being so happy with my results would get me up and excited to push further and do better....but no.

Anyway...I FINALLY got out today. It was BEAUTIFUL! strong wind...but not cold, it was amazing.

I only ran 4 miles but ran each mile progressively faster. While I was running I was thinking to myself

"why could I run so fast on Saturday?" faster than I've EVER run and when I'm out here doing this, I tell myself

"it hurts too much, I can't go any faster, I can’t go any further"

but it's all lies. do you ever think about that? why do we lie to ourselves? Why do we tell ourselves “I can’t” before we even try?

When I was running saturday I came to a hill and at the top of the hill I stopped for a second b/c I was so out of breath, Tanja started yelling at me and so I got moving again…but in hindsight I think man, I could have been closer to 21:00 had I not stopped. but I sabotaged myself by telling myself I couldn’t go any further unless I stopped for a sec. Again, it was just a lie. I could have! I would not have died.

My guess is that most of us have never pushed ourselves hard enough to even see what our best is. Personally, I’m sort of afraid to push myself that hard. It makes me feel vulnerable.

Tanja, my friend who ran with me to push me through the race, emailed me this morning and said In reference to my time on Saturday:

" You did really great! Do you know what that means? It means you can do better than you think!”

It just really got me thinking. I have to push myself harder and dig deeper if I want to achieve the goals I have set for myself! I can’t settle for doing “good”, I need to do and be MY BEST! My very very very BEST! I am stronger than I think and I need to stop limiting myself because I don’t feel like I deserve to be the best or the fastest.

Running has been an exploration of self for me. It’s helping me to see what I’m made of, not just physically but MENTALLY!.

I am on a journey! I am going to get under 20minutes for a 5K.

hold me to it:)

May 18, 2010

2010-05-18T22:53:00.000-07:00

today was a MUCH better day. I woke up with the resolve to have a better day than yesterday. Yesterday I was depressed and just blah all day! luckily I have Steve home now so he entertained Erika and Megan went to Jennas to play. I sat around on my butt:):) but by the end of the day I started to read my scriptures and that always helps me!!

Today I actually did my circuit training, found 2 swimsuits for cheap at old navy($10each!!) and visited with friends.
I am a lucky girl. Life is good.

OH..one thing that sucked though...My car has a flat tire! not sure what happened over night but it is FLAT and won't even hold more than 8psi:(:( so that's a bummer...don't really want to fork out $100 for a new stinkin' tire right now! I wanted to take the girls to the safari thing in BAndon...but with Steve not working right now I have to monitor our finances a lot better so we'll see about that. Might have to put it off for a while:(

thank goodness the Lord continues to bless us!!
I love Him. every day I recognize his hand in my life, his great mercy for this little Wagner family.
well, that's all for today...need to clean my house and still get up early to run tomorrow!

nighty night!

Sunday May 16th

2010-05-16T23:23:00.000-07:00

I started writing in my journal again last week after my Young Womens lesson I gave on...Journalling nonetheless. I usually write sporatically....every month or so...or when something great or terrible happens and I feel I need to document it. But today I was thinking I should blog more. more about important stuff and not just lame-o things like I sometimes do.

Lately, I've got to thinking alot. Alot about the kind of person I want to be, the kind of friend I want to be, Wife, mother, all that.

I have been making a concerted effort to stay off the computer more and just "hang out" with my kids more. Most people dont' know that about me but that is REALLY hard for me! I am a go-go-go type of person....and it's really challenging for me to just sit and play. I always feel like I need to be emailing a bride back, folding laundry, cleaning the kitchen, calling a friend...I guess I have that disease..whatever it's called..keep yourself busy even if it's not productive or important.
I've NEVER been the girl who needs her "alone time" ....well except for once ina while away from the kids but even then I like to have a friend with me. I'm not the one who loves to be alone. I always have been a bit co-dependant. I'm mostly over the real dysfunctional part of that and now I just like having company more than anything.

Anyway, I realize that I want my girls to remember their mom growing up as the one who wasn't always "too busy". I want to be there when they need me and it's been nice.

This morning Erika woke me up at 6:22am....not really my idea of a "good morning"..when i walked her back to her room, she was very whiny and I was afraid she would wake megan...so I just jumped into bed with her...not something I would normally do, but it was nice. I love that she has twin bed now and I can fit comfortably in there with her. She nuzzled her warm little face upto mine and for that moment, though exhausted, I was in heaven.
I woke up an hour later to Megan lying on top of me and Erika lying beside me. we said our morning prayers, had a bath and got ready for church.

There is always such a peace in the mornings...if you don't chase it away. Steve stayed in bed b/c he has a cold and the girls and I went to church alone..but they were so very well behaved. I felt grateful.

Erika is talking alot the last few days and I see her growing up before my eyes. Maybe I'm just too emotional but it makes me sad. I dont' want her to grow up. I already feel sad thinking about the fact that we can never go back in time and hold them as little babies again....part of me sometimes secretly tells myself that in heaven, Heavenly Father will let us hold our babies again one more time just because. Who's to say I'm wrong? ya never know right? it gives me comfort to think of the possibility.
Erika is also VERY clingy lately. I can't tell you how many times a day she says "mama, I want you".....something Megan also says alot. lol...she can be sitting right in my lap and she will still repeat it over and over. I remember as a child, I was the same. i could never seem to get enough of my mom. I wanted to be with her ALL THE TIME. I pretty much begged to sleep with her every night til I was 12yrs old. I guess my girls got that from me. I could have bigger problems than kids who love me too much:) but I feel bad b/c I remember that nothing seemed to fill that longing I had and I hope they don't feel that way too.

Anyway...I'm having a sort of sad empty feeling tonight...not sure why...probably b/c I didn't do the 2 things I told myself I was going to do tonight..procrastinator. ugh.
There's always tomorrow..not that that is a good excuse AT ALL..but still. for now it will have to do.

OH...and I ran my first 5K yesterday..it was amazing. maybe I'll blog about that later this week.
for now, I have some scriptures to read before bed.
over and out kids.

N.

which dress?

2010-05-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

Okay....so Steve and I won an anniversary shoot...which I'm SO super excited about. we never had a photographer at our wedding and so we really don't have too many great pics of us:( it has been a sad spot for me for years..plus I chopped 14" off my hair right before I got engaged so I have short hair in my wedding pics:( I've never had an up-do even:(....SO...this is my chance to get nice beautiful formal pics of Steve and I.

We plan to do the shoot downtown in June. I'm thinking I want something very fun, high fashion..big messy up-do etc.

So..it's very hard to find a dress with cap sleeves but these are the ones I found in my size from Nordstrom.com

I will put them in order of my favorite and if you could indicate by number which one you think is best (and why) I would really appreciate your opinion...I am having such a hard time picking!!!
p.s Steve will be in a suit (or at least shirt and tie, dress pants).

here we go: and try to imagine ME in the dress lol...some of these models have very diff coloring than me. I did try one on recently just like the last one and it was actually very cute on.
thanks for your help!!!

#1-Maggie london

#2 -Suzi Chin B/W

#3-BCBG

#4-Suzi Chin White

The Birthday Boy!

2010-05-12T23:16:00.000-07:00

I am so behind....as usual.
I had to post today though because today is my sweet husband Birthday:)

34 yrs ago today, Stephen Craig Wagner was born....and boy am I glad!

This last year has been fabulous...but especially the last 6 months.....

I can honestly say that He is the perfect man for me. I am so grateful for his mother who raised him to be such an incredible dynamic person and I'm so grateful he joined the church so I could meet him and marry his cute face!

A few of MY favorite things about this wonderful man:

1. His brain. I really am attracted to it:) He is wonderfully smart in so many departments.

I can say without hestiation that there is nothing he can't do. For 7yrs he has amazed me over and over. he can fix anything, build anything, solve any problem...you name it, he can probably do it.

2. His abilities as a father. Is it strange that as a mother I have learned more about smart parenting from HIM than any other person or the numerous books I've read? He is a parenting genious. He always gently corrects me when I seem to be letting things slide. He is a master teacher with our children. I try to remember the things I see him say and do so I can apply them...I'm not very good at it but hopefully someday I will come by it as naturally as he does.

3. His kindness. Yes my husband can be a little blunt and a little insensitive sometimes..he is a man afterall. But he also has a wonderfully sensitive side. He never fails to compliment me,tell me I look cute, tell me all the things he admires about me, thank me for everything I do for him and the girls. He makes me feel so good about what and who I'm trying to become. He is also good about giving me constructive criticism and tell me when he thinks I'm not living up to my potential as a mother or friend. As much as I hate hearing it at the time, he really has helped me become better.

4. His beautiful eyes. enough said. I just have ALWAYS loved looking into this eyes. they twinkle. especially when he's happy they twinkle and sometimes when he looks at me, I can just see the love and it is my favorite look in the whole world. Those moments are my favorite.

5. His sense of humour. For those of you who know myhusband, he is funny. he's always good for a laugh and I love that he makes my mom and dad laugh so much. overall, he's just FUN!

6. last but not least, I could go on and on..... but I LOVE that he has started running with me:) he's really good and I love it! he just ran his first half marathon with me in April....when he smacked my butt while running past me at mile 8, I couldn't help but smile...rather than feel mad he was about to kick my butt, I felt proud. I knew he'd be a great runner if he just got started.

So that's it for now.

Stephen Craig Wagner, I love you. I thank God often that I found you and that you have loved me these last 7 plus years. I meant it tonight when I said, You are the most amazing man I've ever known. I still can't believe you're mine.

Love you forever;) xo

The Book of Mormon...

2010-04-17T22:06:00.000-07:00

So, it has been 5 mo's now that I have kept my promise to the Lord that I would read the scriptures every day no matter what. I had gotten into quite a rut, getting so busy that I was just not making time for it. I got fed up with myself because I have always had a testimony of the Scriptures and especially of the Power of the Book of Mormon in my life. When I read it, I feel closer to Jesus Christ and I feel a peace in my life that I cannot get any other way than by reading the scriptures (and living the gospel of course).

I have more personal revelation in my life and I am definitely more able to be the kind of Mother and Wife I want to be. I feel that I am blessed with more patience with my children and am better able to handle the stresses ( and there have been A LOT lately!) that come into our lives. I feel closer to my husband, and closer to my Heavenly Father. I just dont' think there is anyone out there that could not benefit from reading it.

Anyway...I have been feeling especially grateful for it lately and know that I need to share my testimony of it more often.
So, here it goes.
I DO KNOW that The Book of Mormon is True. That it is the Word of God, as is the Bible. I know that it brings those who read it closer to Jesus Christ.

I found this video on www.lds.org today and just LOVED it! this is Elder Jeffrey R.Holland, he is one of the 12 apostles and his testimony is powerful. I completely and whole heartedly stand by and testify of everything he says here. check it out, it's only 4 min long. the last minute is important so watch it all the way through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkKblIMfmjI

I love you all my friends:)

Race for the Roses Half Marathon...

2010-04-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

Hello, I'm back:)

So thuoght I should update on my progress

So...after the Vernonia race didn't turn out to be so ideal I quicky went searching for another.

I found Race for the Roses but it was only 8days after the Vernonia.
I rested up good that week to make sure My legs and knee would be (hopefully) recovered.

I only got a total of 5 miles ran that week b/c I needed to rest...so it was a bit risky but I felt okay about it.

The race was at 7am so I had to be up at 5 to eat and leave by 6am. It felt strange going to a race completely alone but when I put my mind to something, I just have to do it:)

this race was completely opposite from the other...it had over 5,000 people in it between the 3 races: Half marathon, 10K and 5K.

The race starts out going up a small hill toward the Broadway bridge, over the bridge and down Naito until you head up hill for a mile and half to Barbur...I knew this would be a challenge...it is hard to push your self that hard for 1.5 miles to try to keep at your target pace (mine was a 8min mile page target). I have not trained for hills at all and now I regret it. I will be doing that next time:)

anyway...I was SO dead by the time i got to the top of it that I couldn't even enjoy the slight down hill that followed. The next 5 miles is through down town a series of ups and downs as you slowly climb to the NW.

Up until 11 miles I was still on track to hit my 8mile pace but I would have LIKED to have been 2 min more ahead (dang hill!) b/c I knew i would have to account for the fact that miles 11-13 would be slower than an 8 min pace. I was right and when I hit a huge hill at mile 12.6 I wanted to DIE! My legs just couldn't move any faster and trying to climb a steep hill seemed overwhelming...about 3/4's of the way up it, I walked for a bout 10 sec when I told myself to just keep moving!!!

I pushed through it, PAINFULLY and was able to finish the race at 1:46:41.

Had I been TWO MINUTES FASTER I would have hit my 8min pace goal:( Oh well...I feel good about it considering I had just run a half marathon the week before.

My overall pace was 8:08 per mile.

I placed 100th out of the total 1,472 women that ran the Half marathon

and I placed 26th out of the 264 women in my age group (30-34).

SO....In some ways I did reach my goal, b/c my other goal is to place in the top 10% so in both these cases I made that:)

I am starting training AGAIN this Monday and this time plan to step it up with a lot of strength training so hopefully I can hit or BEAT the 1:44:30 goal I have. I've learned from all this that it takes MORE than just running to get faster. I need to strenthen my core and my legs and my arms...so that's what I plan to do:)

stay tuned:)

here's some pics of me coming to the finish line.....

Feeling SO exhaused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vernonia Half marathon...

2010-04-04T08:23:00.000-07:00

Wow. Where do I start? To say I am disappointed would be accurate, but to say that it was pure comical craziness and yes I am still glad I did it would also be accurate. I followed through with a committment and goal and that feels great.

It wasn't until this week that we started to think it was going to rain on the race, possibly very hard. I adjusted to that. no problem. It's just rain. As the day approached, we realized we might be running into hard winds. Okay...a bit more challenging, but we're still going to do it.

then Friday night the forecast shows a winter weather warning. 3-5" of snow overnight. WHAT? I didnt' know that Vernonia is 2000ft above sea level. didn't know any of these things.

When we started heading up there saturday morning, I was still very optimistic that this was going to be a GREAT race!.....as we got into Vernonia and were following the trail, I could see that it was covered in 2" of slush. Slush is slippery I thought and I know how paranoid I am running on anything like that, I don't want to break a leg!...the conditions got worse and I started to face the reality that this was not going to be the race I could set my personal best record on. That was the disappointing part for me. I had prepared myself physically and mentally for a race where I could run my heart out, a city race. Not an array of obstacles through the mountains:(:(

We finally all agreed (me, steve, Lee and Val) that we would just have fun and try to finish this course!

We bundled up REALLY warm, b/c it was 32 degrees(yes, that's freezing). The first 2miles was an out and back along a CLEAR paved pathway. flat. Perfect!! This might not be so bad I thought, lol.

As soon as you pass mile 2, you head up hill..... FOR 6 MILES over slushy paths. My knee was really starting to hurt around mile 6 which was a bit worrysome b/c I have NEVER had knee trouble in my 4mo's of training. I can only attribute it to the steady up hill climb the whole way.

Anyway, back to the race....So.. THEN (sorry, i'm actually laughing to myself when thinking back on it) at mile 8 you hit the TRAIL!....yes for the next 5.1 miles it is still up hill and a mix of deep MUDD, Gravel, SNOW, and in some places completely washed out so at one point around mile 11, I had no choice but to step into 6-8" deep water. I'm not sure how deep it was exactly but it was ankle deep filling both shoes with water:) .

The whole race I kept thinking to myself "When is it going to flatten out??!! When will it go back down hill???". At Mile 10 there is a 100ft straight down drop....but only to find a much longer steeper up hill again for the rest of the way. Poor Val fell down the hill it was so slippery and gross. when you finally hit what you think is the end, then send you up another steep incline for the last probably 500 yards. alot of people walked it, I tried to run it but I think my running at a steep incline was slower than my walking would have been! lol.

Steve had passed me back at mile 8 and so I was pretty happy to see his smiling sweaty face at the finish line. Actually at mile 8, I tried to grab a cup of water at the water station and he smacked my butt to which I CHOKED on the water and took off running after him! lol

I fell about 10min behind my goal, but considering the condtions I was actually surprised with the time I got. I still placed 3rd in my age group out of 60 women, got a cute little ribbon, won a Peach pie and got to hang out with great friends along the way:)

Unfortunately, I didn't go to run an obstacle course.....I went to run a fast race and set a personal record...so now I am trying to find a race in the next 1-2wks so I can run another half marathon with hopefully better conditions and preferrably on roads!;) I have not given up. One guy said I did really well ( to which I rolled my eyes-he didn't knwo this was a ridiculously slow time for me) but told me to think about it as another training run.....so that's what I'm doing. I guess that was my saturday long run for the week!....hopefully next week's race is better:)

and Steve, amazing! i can't believe he ran an average 8:19 mile through those conditions! he is a runner for sure and I'm excited to see what he can do with this sport:) I love him and I'm thankful he decided to run with me.

Me, I ran an average 8:37 mile:) a good time but considering my last half was a 8:21 you can see why I'm not doing jumping jacks:)

can't wait to get back out there and hit that 8:00mile pace for my next half:):) Like I say to Megan, "NEVER Quit!. We are NOT Quitters!":):)

we have BUNK BEDS!!!

2010-03-21T23:36:00.000-07:00

Last week, we finally bought bunk beds for the girls! the whole process was SO exciting for me. I had bunk beds growing up and shared a room with my sister Tracey until I was 14. I loved it! I miss it. There's nothing like sisterhood:)
Steve, being so handy, had no problem putthing them together...but he let Megan and Erika help him. I love that he lets them help and actually teaches them to do REAL stuff...they dont' just pretend to help, the really do! so here they are:

(look at those curls!)

This one was taken in the dark when they were actually asleep that night. SO cute!!!

Sugar and spice...

2010-03-21T23:28:00.000-07:00

"Sugar".....

"Spice" lol...she got into my lipgloss. enough said.

WOW...it's been a while....

2010-03-21T22:49:00.001-07:00

Well, I am a TAD bit behind on my blogging. sigh..I just dont' make the time or have the time..whatever. regardless, I'm behind:)So...where should I start? well...after my trip to Connecticut I went to Canada:) I was able to visit with my mother in law, and my two sisters:)
Steve's mom gave us a car which has been the biggest blessing ever!! I am able to get out more and feel so FREE!!! thank you Sharon. I am forever indebted to you!

so...here I go.
Steve took us to the airport...the girls FIRST trip on an airplane. We were all very excited.I was a BIT nervous about how it would all go. Me with 2 kids, lots of luggage and no husband. The girls were great! they stayed in tow through the airport and listened well...thank you God!

Here we are at the airport!

waiting at our gate:)

Erika clapping! she was very excited!

This is megans "excited face" lol...just wait the next one is better!

LOL!

Then we headed to my sister, Tina's house for a day. It was so nice to see her, Jaime and My niece and nephew jessica and joel. Love them!!

My sister Tina and Jessica above.

Tina and I below. She is my oldest sister:) We're 4.5yrs apart. I have made it a goal to get up and see her more often. Love you tina!

meet "Stash". Erika talks about him Often. VERY often. she loves cats and she LOVES Stash:)

Then it was off to my other Sisters house Tracey! she was 38wks pregnant and it was also Madison's 6th birthday party! so fun!!

Erika, Megan and Maddy. Funny that Erika and Maddy actually look quite a bit alike:)

Megan and Maddy. BEST friends! and cousins:) they are only 7mo's apart.

I woke up Erika from her nap to get outside for the birthday party! she just looked so cute with her messy hair and rosy cheeks:)

The Party. Discussing the details of the scavenger hunt:)

Then there's Erika and Noah...they are only 3mos apart. Noah is older. He is HILARIOUS! I hadn't seen him since he was 1 and seriously..this kid should be an actor. he has SO much energy, gusto and enthusiasm about EVERYTHING! when he's eating something he likes he says in a very LOUD excited voice " I LIKE IT!" lol...you have to hear it to know how funny it is!

we found them one night on the bed just playing...they are so cute! At first Erika called him Nona. but it only took a few minutes to get "NO-AH" down pat!

Erika and Noah tucking themselves in!

Being goofy!

well....I'm not sure why I can't find any pics of Trace and I but anyway....that's all for now. will post some more shortly:)

The first time.....

2010-02-01T13:28:00.000-08:00

This is the first time I'm going to say talk about this publicly...and to tell you the truth I'm not even sure why. I think I will just feel better if I get it off my chest.
Depression runs in my family. I had never had to take anti-depressants until Erika. I had really bad post pardum after Megan but tried to do it on my own. That lead to 18mo's of ....well for lack of a better word, Hell. It was a very trying time for Steve and I. I promised myself if I went through it again after Erika I would take something for it...and I did. I got on Zoloft 2mo's after she was born and I'm so glad I did. I actually got to enjoy her as a baby. I could cope with the sleepless nights and the screaming. I felt like the most normal version of myself in years. When she was 14mo's old I weaned off of it. I did not want to be on that for the rest of my life. I did great for about 6mos but started to struggle again. There has been alot of social issues the last 18mos that I have never really dealt with before and that seems to trigger it for me as well as all the day to day struggles of just being a mom. I think I'm doing okay but then I wake up and I just can't fight it. I try...I go through the motions, but inside, I'm anxious, sad, feel like crying and impatient with my children. My running has helped A LOT to keep me in better spirits, but this morning was the first time I didn't get out of bed on schedule. I just couldn't fight it. I feel like poop!.

I'm taking some 5-HTP and GABA and Fish oil and most of the time it seems to do a pretty good job but then something happens and I just seem to plummet into that black hole. it sucks. yup....that's pretty much all there is to say about it. It just sucks. There's nothing anyone can say to me when I feel this way that makes it better...I just have to ride out the storm and try to find things that help. Usually the only solution is just reading my scriptures and praying for the feeling to go away, praying to not be so sensitive to others actions.

I think I finally decided to put this out there b/c I have a friend in Canada who is havig a hard time right now and I was talking to her and she said "all my friend are bubbly and always happy". In my heart I thought..."it only SEEMS that way".
I know that some people who don't know me very well might think that everything in my life is always hunky dorey....my own family I think might think that alot.....but it's not the case. I am pretty good at whining and complaining lol, but rarely do I actually share with my friends or family how much I'm actually hurting inside. I don't say that for sympathy but more to help anyone who might be feeling out there like they're the only one who suffers from depression...you're not. and it's okay. ....it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with us..it's just a trial we have to deal with.
I try REALLY hard to keep mine under control, I exercise b/c that is supposed to help and I take supplements for depression.....but sometimes on some days..it still slips away from me.

If anyone reading this has a history of depression and has anything they want to share, go for it!:)

I hope that tomorrow gets better and somehow I can make up for my run I missed this morning:)

Christmas 2009 part 1

2010-01-17T03:54:00.000-08:00

yes, I know I am REALLY behind .....it's 4am and I just woke up. I laid on the couch ALL day and then put the girls to bed at 7 and went right to bed...just woke up and thought I should drink some apple juice. We've been cooped up for 3 days as we've all been sick and yesterday I felt SO crappy! I still feel crappy but am hoping I can sleep it off!
anyway..thought while I was up at an insane hour I might as well blog:)
This year we stayed home for Christmas. It was our first year with just the 4 of us and it was fabulous, we missed our families but it was so nice to just be together as well.
Our good friends, the cannons, stayed home too so we hung out alot with them.
on Christmas eve we went sledding on Mt. Hood which proved to be WAY too fun!!! we're hoping to make it a yearly tradition.
after that We made a gingerbread house from Scratch and then finished our evening by watching a video about the Savior's birth called "Joy to the World". It could not have been a better day.
Here are a few pictures:

erika feeding me snow. she must have sat for 20min eating snow, she loved it!

she was pretending to be Santa.

my 2yr old part 2.

2009-12-20T22:44:00.000-08:00

I guess I've gotten to the point of desperation. AT bedtime it was another meltdown. the only way we got her to stop screaming was to scream back at her:( so sad. but honestly all the talking, persuading, tucking in just doesn't work.

SO, I pulled out that book I bought a few months ago. "Raising your spirited child". I actually broke down crying while reading it b/c it is like reading about MYSELF.
and yes, I took the test and i'm still a spirited adult. sigh. NOT that that is a bad thing....but it's hard...as a child there are about 5 statements I heard DAILY from my family that really affected me and still stick with me:

"Shhhhhhh!!"
"You're So loud!"
"SIT STILL!"
"You're just TOO sensitive Nicole"
"Calm down!"

Now that I'm older, we laugh about it. My sister now has a daughter that is JUST like the way I was and sometimes she calls her Nicole instead of Madison when she's being loud or crazy. I've been there and I just laugh and say "Thanks Trace!".haha..we have agood laugh but I realize that all those statements sort of produced a complex in me. AS I read this book I realize that I need to help Erika take these STRONG traits and reactions and use them for good. She is a wonderful, amazing child and I know she will get what she wants out of this life.

It is just so very humbling trying to learn how to work with her, meet her needs without being walked all over and to add to it, she has a mother JUST LIKE HER!. When she gets worked up, I get worked up and then we are BOTH worked up (lol) and it's just a MESS.

The book says I need to learn to control my OWN strong reactions before I can help her control hers. ....sigh. GREAT! one more thing to add to my list of things to do;). I do feel more optimistic after reading half this book tonight though. I will try to read more tomorrow.

Right now, the big thing is how crazy she's been lately at bedtime.....I realize she really needs a LONG time to wind down (unlike Megan who is asleep in 5min most nights)....I am going to try to spend some time with her in the dark soothing her at bedtime. we do the whole bedtime routine: books, teeth, prayer, songs...but I think she needs more. I wanted this to be enough but the obvious answer has been stareing me in the face for a while and I just didnt' want to aknowledge it.
She Needs MORE.
she is not Megan, she doesn't fall asleep easily, she doesn't wind down easily....she needs more from me at bedtime and I need to help her learn how to wind down. After all, I AM her mother, if I don't help her, who will?

Okay, this has been long-winded...I don't blog often and these feelings are VERY personal to me and i'm quite sensitive about them, but thanks for listening.

It's funny....I have had this fairly big revelation that I need to take most of next year off from work and tonight it hit me why.....this year Erika is going to need me more than Ever. The Lord knows what he's doing. I'm so thankful for Him. I know He will help me become the mother that both my VERY DIFFERENT children need.

Our 2yr old is taking over the house..H.E.L.P

2009-12-19T21:21:00.000-08:00

I know at first glance of this title, most of you are laughing, or nodding and sighing thinking "oh yes....the terrible two's"...hee hee, ha ha, ..but NO. SERIOUSLY...this is beyond my parenting capabilities...on our way home tonight from dinner at a friends house... I said to Steve "What is wrong with us? ...why don't we have the patience that our friends have with their kids?".....

first off, let me say, Megan never had terrible 2's, or 3's....she did all of her freaking out the first 6mo's and has been easy peasy ever since.

Erika....oh gosh...

Okay...so I need advice. she is wearing me thin. I've figured out one part is that when she doesn't get enough sleep she's definitely worse. so when she doesn't have a nap that is atleast 2.5hrs long she gets over tired and the nightmare begins (like the last 2 days). EVERTHING is a tantrum or a struggle. she screams for every frustration she has and no matter how much I try to remain calm and help her, give her words etc etc..you name it we 've tried it..she still freaks out...at the teensy tinyest things.

if she' s putting on her socks and they're crooked she starts screaming..but if I try to help her she screams even more an then rips them off and runs away. This is only ONE example...it seems like EVERYTHING is like this lately. she hits megan ALL THE TIME, she pushes, she screams, she yells, she stomps,....ugh...it is exhausting just thinking about it.

she'salso taken to pooping in her panties and so I wash her off in a cold bath (don't want to do a warm bath b/c she loves baths and that would be too rewarding)..it seemed to work after about 4 x b/c she didn't do it for about a week but tonight she pooped in her panties again. I knew she had to poop and I warned her that she need to go on the potty but she did it anyway.

at bedtime, we told her there was no bottle b/c she wasn't behaving nicely today...that lead to a 45min melt down which eventually lead to steve and I BOTH having our own meltdowns.

she's taking over our home!!!!!!!!!!! what do we do????????????

I know the Lord expects me to be more patient... but I'm telling you I've TRIED...NOTHING gets through to this girl, she is the most stubborn, strong willed, "I will hold out to the death" type of child i've ever met.

i'm really HOPING someone has something inspiring to share with me b/c i'm at the end of my rope.

The most discouraging part for me is that I ask myself "what if this isn't the terrible two's? what if she's like this she's 18?". I wish I knew for sure this would pass.

thanks for listening....I wish I could put in more detail but hopefully this gives you a general idea.

Getting Sicker?

2009-11-07T21:22:00.000-08:00

Okay the little slice of heaven I described in my last post is OVER. Erika has turned into a Whining machine. poor baby, I know...I feel terrible...but EVERYTHING is in a whiny voice....EVERYTHING. Steve said she spent all morning just laying on him...then all 3 of them took naps (lucky ducks) b/c both girls had fevers again. (and I thought we were on the mend. not so).
Once I got home, Steve and Megan went out to buy a new thermometer....Erika and I layed on the living room floor and read books. Then we decided to make cupcakes. 2 times during that, I stepped away for a minute. Both times, she went running to her room whining and laid on Megan's bed kicking her legs pitching a fit. BOTH times, I have no idea why and can only assume that that was her way of showing me that she was not happy I left the kitchen. ....

You're getting an idea of how the last 24hrs has been:)

the THIRD time, she did this, she kept calling me in her super whiny voice..when I finally went down there, she was just lying there and when I arrived, she continued to pitch her fit.
So awesome.
I had to laugh and tease her...what else can I do? she is so miserable and I feel so bad.
I'm actually sleeping on the floor in their room tonight b/c I don't want her to choke to death or suffocate b/c she can't breath:(:( Alyssa said they've had quite a bit more deaths with this H1N1 in children than with the regular flu.

At dinner, every time Steve tried to talk to her she would just say in a high pitch whiny voice
"daddy Moooooooo!" (which is No) and if he persisted, she would just cry. I finally told him not to look at her or talk to her. lol. I thought this type of moodiness stuff didn't start til they were teenagers?

I'm trying to remain optimistic though and remember that this will pass.

Oh...one positive thing about the Moosh though...she sat perfectly still while Steve and Dustin gave her a blessing tonight. THAT was surprising. A NICE surprise:) OH...and they're so sick, they both went right to sleep without a PEEP tonight. gotta be thankful for that:).....

here's to a better healthier week!

Sickness, Snuggles and Service

2009-11-04T19:17:00.000-08:00

Well, as most of you may already know, we have been SICK!. ugh. I came down with it on Saturday night and was sick on Sunday but mostly Monday, it was YUCKY!!! the fever, achey body, sore throat, cough....blah. Is it swine flu? maybe...who knows really, but if it is, it's certainly not as bad as the regular flu. ( I hate puking and there has been none of that with this flu so YAY!).

Then Yesterday the girls started to be under the weather, megan woke with the cough and fever and today Erika woke up looking like death warmed up, poor baby.
It's been a rough week, but I couldn't let this all go by without expressing some gratitude.
Being away from home, it can kinda suck when bad weeks like this hit and you have no family to call on, but for some reason, the Lord has seen fit to bless me with incredible friends.

On Sunday night I went to bed at 7:30pm...I slept right through til 8:30am and didn't get out of bed til steve left for work. I was up for 2hrs (and feeling like CRAP, DYING to go back to sleep) when lacey called and offered to just come and take my girls so I could go back to bed. Out of my mouth came "Oh yes, that would be wonderful!"
but in my head was "WHAT? are you seriously an angel sent from GOD?! if I was rich, this service would be worth at LEAST one million dollars right now!".

She came without hesitation and took the girls while I napped another 2.5hrs. Then at 1pm she brought erika back for a nap and I napped for ANOTHER 1.5hrs! she kept megan til about 4pm! by Tuesday I was feeling pretty good again and I completely attribute that to all the SLEEP I got. LACEY-THANK YOU!

My next dillemma was that today was my first day of school and with the girls getting sick yesterday, who in the heck was going to watch them? Lacey and Lyndsey couldn't risk their small babies getting it and Steve couldn't get off work:(:( Well, as if one miracle wasnt' enough, I had Christi Lott, Alyssa Phair and my friend Chrystal all offer to take my girls for the day!
they have all already had the pig flu so they were ok with watching them (thank goodness!).
It worked out that Christi and Stephanie took turns watching them today. I was so sad to leave my sick baby girls today but knew they were in good hands and that made ALL the difference.

I want to think that I would have done the same thing in these 2 situations, but I don't know? I feel you all are SO much better than me! but don't worry, this has been a good lesson in Humility! I will for sure be there the best that I can to help any of you when you get sick! or have sick kids!! I am SO thankful for the friends and "family" I have in the church. what a blessing!!!! and more so I think that I am MOST thankful for the awesome LIVING examples of charity and kindness that I have seen in you women. I have bowed my head in HUMBLE prayer these last few nights thanking Heavenly Father for you women and pleading to be more like you.

I love you all so much and am so thankful for your service !
xoxoxo

p.s when I got home today, Erika and Megan spent about 10min climbing all over me giving me huge snuggles and kisses...it was a little slice of heaven.......sick babies are so sweet...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Erika Brooke!!!!

2009-10-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

Born October 25th, 2007 weighing 10lbs 4 oz and 22" long. ...

Wow, what a day THAT was!!

Tomorrow will mark 2 yrs ago that I was in labor with Erika. I had waited 11 LONG days past my due date and was starting to lose hope I'd ever go into labor on my own.
It still feels like yesterday to me...I can't believe how fast it has gone by....I'm not even sure WHERE it has gone actually??? If someone knows..tell me!
If I may...I will reminisce a bit:)

As I may have shared before, I had a very wonderful spiritual experience in the Temple after I had a misscarriage (In between Meg and Erika) ....in that experience I learned that there was another little girl that would come to our family....so 6mo's later when we felt it was time to try to get pregnant again (and we did, first try), I KNEW it was girl. Steve tried to HOPE for a boy, but I knew. no doubt at all.

When we confirmed she was girl with an ultrasound (for him, not for me), it was such a cool experience. I continued to grow...and GROW....my belly just got bigger and bigger....I thought I would soon pop. During my pregnancy I had decided that I would birth naturally. My experience with Megan, the epidural, the episotomy, the vacuum....ugh, well it was less than great to say the least and the recovery was worse.

This time around, I wanted to experience a Positive, healthy, beautiful labor. I'm proud of myself for all the work I did to make it happen. I read a book about hypno birthing or rather relaxation, I listened to my relaxation CD everyday while Megan napped and I prayed my little heart out that the Lord will allow me to have this great blessing of a natural child birth. SO...after 11 days past my due date, I was SO happy to go into labor.-FINALLY! that in itself was a surreal experience:)

I woke Steve up at 4am and told him I thought it was real....by 5am I could really FEEL the contractions. we left for the hospital and driving there he just kept making me laugh...it stands out so much in mind for some reason...I kept laughing and telling him it hurt and to stop making me laugh! lol....we arrived at the hospital to find out I was already dialated to a 5 which was GREAT!. I got in the tub and stayed there til about 8cm. after that I moved to a bed where my saving grace was my nurse who pushed on my back during back labor.
The whole experience, though I don't have time to recount here was amazing. I love to think back on it, b/c it was everything i could have hoped for. I had to push for more than 90min and in various positions..this part was NOT so much fun, but when that 10lb baby girl came out (at 1:36pm), I knew it had been worth it.

She was so beautiful, so BIG and so sweet! I couldn't believe I had done it! I had accomplished my dream and I will always be thankful for the Lord for listening to my endless prayers during that time of my life. It was a blessing I wanted so bad and now I have it to cherish forever.

Erika grew quickly and soon became known as "The moosh" "Gaga", "mooshy","Ca-ca" (though that one was short lived), and many other silly little terms we have for her.

Now at 2yrs old, I can say she has brought this little family A LOT of joy the last 2 yrs.
She is Always making ALL of us laugh!! She is fun, SPIRITED, fiesty, cuddly, silly, energetic, smart, adorable, and beautiful -inside and out!.

I love her curly hair, I love her green eyes, I love that smiles when she is being naughty, I love that she runs up and hugs my legs so tight and then runs away, I love that she asks me to scratch her back by just laying on my lap and lifting up her shirt, I love that she says "I you mama" which means " I love you mama". I love that she is so expressive with her face, I love her big squishy nose, I love her smile, I love her chubby little thighs, I love her independence and how everything lately starts with " I DO!" or "I SEE, I SEE!"...haha.., I love that she is POTTY TRAINED already:), I love that she loves me:) gosh, I could go on and on...she really has my heart. all of it. I love her so much. she is so much like I was as a little girl and I feel like I can relate to her and all her crazy emotions:):)

I'm so thankful to know, when the times get tough, that she is meant to be in THIS family. Looking back on that temple experience 2.5yrs ago, I know that the Lord has a plan for us and for families. I know that Erika was meant to come to OUR family and that I was meant to be HER mommy!... I'm so glad for the plan of happiness that she can be ours forever.
Happy Birthday Mooshy. We ALL love you!!xo
Here's a few pics from those early days, and up until now:)

Me at 36.5wks pregnant

Me at 39.5 wks pregnant...I went for more than 2 wks after this!

Look at that cute face!

SO happy!!

4.4mo's old...her first 2 bottom teeth broke through that day!

about 9mos old...

1 year old birthday!

About 7.5 mos old...

learning to crawl! haha...

Having fun! about 5mos old...

with her adoring big sister!

She foune a red lipstick! haha...7.5 mos old...
Learning to walk!
At pig and pancake..this summer

Now, THESE are funny!! I decided to do a little afro on her hair a few weeks ago...I LOVE this kids hair,it is so "woggy" as Megan calls it...I caught some of our Typical Moosh facial expressions:)

One of my favs...

A close second for sure! haha
and this was earlier this summer....

I love you Erika:)
(megan is so beautiful!-when I look at this picture, I make a mental note to myself to never actually let her wear makeup as a teenager!)

These last two I took about a week ago. they asked me for a makeover! lol..so here's my two girls "Glam Shots". Awesome eh?!!! lol
I LOVE the smirk on her face here! hahaha

Couponing deals....

2009-10-24T22:37:00.000-07:00

Okay... so I've only been doing this for 3 wks I guess now...and I love it! I know what everyone means about not being able to spend full price anymore...it just bugs me. I feel so HAPPY being frugal...funny eh?
So...I had to share some great deals I got at Wallgreens this week...they are quickly becoming my favorite place!!
First I'll lay everything out at regular price and then I'll show you how I got it at the price I did...which was AMAZING!

Ricola cough drops $2.49 each x 6=$14.94
Trident Layers gum $1.49 x 2 = $2.98
Glade Reed diffuser room freshener $9.99 (my favorite deal of all...you'll see why)
Theraflu and Triaminic products $6.99 each x 6 = $41.94
Bumblebee Tuna $1.19 x 6 = $7.14
Bandaids $2.29 each x 3 =$6.87
Panty liners $.99
Purex Laundry detergent X tra strength 32 loads $8.99 x 2 = $17.98

TOTAL $102.83 (YIKES!)

NOW....what I Paid for all this:):)

Ricola cough drops (coupon 2/$3, 2 coupons for buy one get one free, and another .50 coupon used twice) = $5.00
Trident Layers gum (buy one get one free coupon) $1.49
Glade Reed diffuser room freshener (in store sale $5 off, making it $4.99 and then I had a coupon for $4 off) = $1.00
Theraflu and Triaminic products (on sale for $4.99 ea. / $9 in coupons from the paper/ $8 in coupons from the flyer and a $8 register rebate for my next shop). I bought all this in two orders. = $12.94
Bumblebee Tuna (in store sale for .55 /can)= $3.30
Bandaids (in store sale for .99 ea) =$2.97
Panty liners (in store coupon for .79)= $.79
Purex Laundry detergent X tra strength 32 loads (in store sale -buy 1 get 1 free) then applied my $8 register rebate and a coupon I had for $.50) = $.49!!!!!!!!!!!! (yes, seriously...2 laundry detergents for $0.49)!

TOTAL: $27.98
(I actually think I forgot a coupon somewhere b/c when i counted up my 2 receipts yesterday it was even less than this, but you get the picture!!)

I have only spent a few extra hours a week doing this stuff and sure I drive to a couple extra stores but to me IT IS WORTH it!!:):)
thanks again to Alyssa and Katie for teaching me how to do this:):)

Drum roll please.........

2009-10-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

After 1 week of Erika in panties and only 1 accident...I think it is safe to say (knock on wood) that we are potty trained! we have had a few outings and she goes in public washrooms (YAY!) and no accidents!
So proud of my little girl! My goal was both girls Potty trained before 2yrs old. She will be 2 this Sunday:)
here's a little video of my angel:) She is seriously so cute, I can hardly stand it!!

My beautiful family....

2009-10-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

So of course while my family was here we had to get out alone! (sans kids)
so I was able to do my sisters hair/makeup which I love doing and we all went for dinner. We had so much fun just being crammed in one car all together. Dinner was fun and the ride home was even more fun. I realized my mom is hilarious since she got sober and she was such a joy to have around! she was always laughing at everything which just made for a cheery atmosphere! I love you mom, dad and Trace!
here is my beautiful family. Love them SO much!!

Isn't she gorgeous? I've always admired her beauty! Oh..and she's 16wks pregnant here!!!:) Look at those dimples. she is adorable to me. I love her so much.

the 3 of us crammed in the backseat! love it:)

My mom and dad. They've been divorced for 27yrs and are still GREAT friends!! I love them for being friends b/c it means I can be with both of them at the same time and that means so much to me:)
p.s Ain't my dad handsome? we need to find him a girlfriend!!

"Buddies". My dad and Steve are 2 peas in a pod. they totally egg each other on and both have totally dry humour...I love being around them!

Oh my gosh..okay we laughed at this picture of my dad til we cried! we kept teasing him that we were going to use it as a profile picture on a dating website to snag him a girl!

On the way home....

SO.MUCH.FUN.

xo

Taking time for Him

2009-10-20T10:46:00.000-07:00

I had to post this video. The message in it has touched me personally this week. The last few weeks have been REALLY rough on our family. My friend Lindsey Woolsey talked to me a few weeks ago about her journey with daily scripture study and prayer and I was touched. It's something I've been trying to fit into my day better for a long time. I made a promise that night to my Heavenly Father that I would never go to sleep again at the end of a day without reading from my scriptures. I began to do that but then when things got really difficult recently, I realized even more the importance of taking ME time each day. not time on the computer or cleaning the house, but time to be with the Lord. To read my scriptures, pray, write in my journal and just ponder about eternal things. I have been doing this during Erika's nap and Megans "quiet time". I call it "Mommy's quiet time". I think the results speak for themselves. If you ask the girls or my husband they will tell you how much nicer things have been around here:) I feel happier, I feel more able to handle the tasks and challenges of each day and do it with a smile.
I urge you all to take time each day to contemplate the "bigger picture". Life is so much more than the day to day mundane things. I'm so thankful for the Lord and all He has done for me. I'm grateful to be able to know what He would have me do each day.
I am so thankful for a family that I love so dearly.

The best surprise EVER!

2009-10-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

Those who are close to me know that by Mid September I was hitting my thresh hold for missing my family. It had been almost a year since I'd seen my sister Tracey and I was filling VERY sad and lonely down here. Megan was also sad and complaining that she couldn't go any longer without seeing her best friend and cousin Maddy:)
Well...I seriously had NO idea but this was the best surprise ever.
My dad arrived on Wednesday and I was so happy to have him here.
Thursday morning I got up and began to get ready for meg's bday party that day..
while blow drying my hair someone knocked on the door. Steve yelled at me to get it. I thought that was weird but I walked to the door with half dry hair and opened it.
There stood my MOM! I was in total shock and it took a minute to process what was happening...."Okay, mom is here to surprise" I hear myself say in my mind...then all of the sudden, I look behind her and there comes Tracey and Maddy coming up the stairs, I FREAKED OUT!! I was crying so hard and totally surprised. it is safe to say no one has ever surprised me that well before.

I just kept saying how it was the best surprise i've ever gotten..and it was!
I love you mom and Tracey!!

Here are the series of pictures of me opening the door...I didn't even notice Steve behind me snapping pictures! ...I wish he had pics of me running out to Trace but oh well..you get the idea. I was SHOCKED:)

This was after a 5min hug and me BAWLING my eyes out!! lol

Together at last. they are only 6mo's apart. You'd never know it, Maddy is SO tall!

Me and my big sister! I LOVE YOU TRACEY!!!

YAY!! It was the BEST feeling having them all there. I love my family so much!

His parents would be proud...

2009-10-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

Our friends Dustin and Lyndsey are quite the funny pair. I love hanging out with them b/c I'm always sure to laugh!
The other night they were here and Megan had just gotten home from Ballet...Dustin took it upon himself to have Megan teach him some ballet moves. He thought we were going to snap a picture but didn't realize we were videotaping him:) disregard my snorting in the background.

Megs surprise...

2009-10-20T08:56:00.001-07:00

here's meg getting her new bike!!

So Behind..here it goes. Post 1: Megs birthday

2009-10-20T08:25:00.000-07:00

Okay...I've been putting this off for....well over a month now. I'm SUPER DUPER behind on blogging, I know. I'm going to try to catch up today.
it has been a busy month.

Megan turned 5 on Sept. 22nd:) I can't believe it really...I mean 5! when did I get a 5yr old? geesh....scary.
She is such a beautiful little 5 yr old though I tell you.
We of course had to plan something special. aside from getting the huge Chuck E Cheese party ( that will be posted later) we wanted to give her a special daddy/mommy date.
she decided she wanted to go to Red Robin and then Mini Golfing:) Well..actually she wanted to go bowling but the lanes were full so we went mini golfing instead and she actually did very well and loved it!
We used to go mini golfing with my dad alot when we were little so it was fun for me to go with my own daughter.

Here is the bday girl in the morning....she wanted streamers and balloons...so that's what she got! I didn't get a pic of her coming out of her room darn it!

with her new stamp set:)

bday breakfast with the poytresses

The moosh just kept asking for more whip cream. figures.

This was later that day getting her new bike..she was SO excited!!

Couponing. I'm hooked.

2009-10-12T14:28:00.000-07:00

Yes...saving money IS more fun than Spending money!!! . besides I need to work on a new skill and I've already mastered how to SPEND money:):)

This weekend I started my journey on couponing...now I'm JUST beginning but I'm SO excited I just had to share the deals I got already:

Friday night:

SAFEWAY... did you know safeway has 72 hr sales?
I got 2 2lb blocks of Tillamook cheddar cheese 3.99 each
18 eggs for 1.49
2 classico pasta sauce for $4.00
( get two boxes of pasta FREE)

total was $14.06
SAVED $14.08

Today
Wallgreens:
Buy 2 packs of pull-ups for $18.
used 2 manufacturer coupons for $2ea
used 2 wallgreens coupsons for $2ea
total: $10. (only $5 each)
plus I got a Register REward (RR) for $4 to be used on my next purchase.

I walked out of the store and came back in:):)

they have Arm and hammer laundry detergent on sale buy 1 get 1 free:)
2 bottles of laundry detergent (32 loads each) 6.99
$4 RR
Total : $2.99!!!!!!!!!!!!! pretty darn sweet for 64 loads of laundry.

Fred Meyer
I also got 5 boxes of cereal (and good size boxes at that) for $9 :) that is $1.80 a box!!
3 gallons of milk for $5.28

I got some more stuff but i'm tired of writing.

I feel really HAPPY! I feel like I am doing something great for our family.
My patriarichal blessing tells me specifically that I need to be "FRUGAL" and I feel like this is one great way to do that.

A few of the cashiers were a little less than excited when they saw me pull out my coupons but I was VERY polite and made sure that I said thank you more than once before I was done:):)

Here are a few websites to get you started if you want to save money too:
http://www.redplum.com/
www.smartsource.com
www.coupons.com
www.coupontom.com
www.savewithlouise.com
http://hip2save.com
http://athriftymom.com/
http://www.frugallivingnw.com/

have fun!!! and thanks to Alyssa and Katie H for inspiring me to get on this!!!!

Can't. shut. off. my. brain...

2009-09-19T00:45:00.000-07:00

Ugh...it's almost 1am and I'm still up. It might be b/c I had a 90min nap today and went to bed at 9pm last night but I think it has more to do with the fact that My brain is buzzing!
I have a million thoughts on my mind and I just need to dump them somewhere...I couldn't keep Steve up any longer..he was a good sport and listened to me ramble for a while.
I have a new goal of writing more posts and not just putting up pictures anyway..so here goes...

1. Megan. She is turning 5 next week. what the heck? 5?! seriously? how and when did I get a 5yr old. sigh...she missed the cut off for kindergarten and I was planning on testing her in but changed my mind b/c I really wanted to prevent her and Erika from being 4yrs apart in school. I feel good about that decision...but now I'm wondering if I should have enrolled her in preschool. all her friends have started Kindergarten OR are in preschool. It would not only give me a chance to have some alone time with Erika but it would allow megan to get out and use her brain more. I think I want to throw my T.V out.
It's stressing me out. I feel like a bad mom...like maybe i'm holding her back?
if I CAN find a preschool to take her still...I don't even have a way to get her there b/c we only have one car and steve takes it to work.........why is everything always so complicated?

2. My business. At first I planned to work less next year. take some summer off, be at home on the weekends more. Then we got our first phone call about paying back student loans. yikes!
I am super duper excited to tell ya all that I am going to CT in January to take makeup lessons with my favorite makeup artist www.naomimartinez.com
I have loved her work for years and the best part about it all is that she is going to work with me on my time. She says she can help me get my makeups down to 20min instead of the 45min it takes me now. Not only would this give me more free time but it would allow me to split my saturdays up next year and fit more weddings in so we can pay back those loans faster.
I have SO many things and questions about the logisitics of how i'm going to work all this out though..it is seriously keeping me up at night....

3. I miss my family like crazy. I spoke to my oldest sister the other night on the computer. we both agreed that we feel like we hardly know each other anymore.
I cried looking at picture of my two sisters together at my aunt/uncles 50th wedding anniversary that I missed b/c I was working:(. I never get up to see my sisters b/c it is a 9hr trip and i'm not too keen about doing that with 2 little girls by myself:( plus again,we only have one car, etc....
I haven't seen my neices and nephews is almost a year...or my sisters and it breaks my heart.
I love our life here in the U.S but there has to be a way to see my family more.
Work and all those things are really just a means to an end to me...don't get me wrong, I LOVE my work, I LOVE doing makeup...but the real motivation in doing it all is so I can have the means to create a life where there are no barriers to seeing my parents and sisters anymore.
I want a house. A house where my sisters can come STAY with me. I hate that we live in a tiny apartment and there's no where for them to come with their kids. it sucks!
Everything in life that brings me happiness has to do with my family.

4.The moosh. Oh the moosh. she is such a little darling. A FIESTY little darling...but that is what I love about her. unpredictable, fiery, loud, FUNNY, sweet, snuggly little mooshy.
She loves babies so much! I mean SO much. she seems to have a natural instinct around them. I feel like she should have a younger sibling..but that is a whole other issue. That is a HUGE decision for Steve and I and we go back and forth on it ALL the time. we can't really make any decisions until we know if we'll be staying here or not. I really wish we knew about the status of his visa now....but we have to wait til spring. So many things hang in the balance until we know those things.

well..those are just a few things on my mind. thanks for letting me vent...I feel like a weight has been lifted...a little.
I love my life...it's a great life and I'm so blessed...I just hope i'm doing a good enough job.
that could be number 5. aaah...the guilt I am always feeling over wondering if i'm doing ANY thing good enough....Does anyone else feel like this all the time??
I really need to be more organized in pretty much EVERY facet of my life .......I think that would help.

well...it's now past 1am. I have a HUGE wedding tomorrow (blessings) so I better get my butt to bed. someone hit me over the head! lol

good night.

worth reading...

2009-08-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

of all the stupid, mindless, unimportant crap we come across in our media each day....
here is something worth reading and watching:
click below:

Zack Arias Blog

Steve introduced me to this guys blog. he's definitely worth following. if you want to be humbled, uplifted and inspired, check it out.
read the post in full and watch the video. if you want MORE back ground on the post go to the post from the day before this one.
incredible.
and if you can...buy some virtual soap from Derrick....I think he deserves it.

I promised I wouldn't steal his post.....

2009-08-11T14:28:00.001-07:00

So PLEASE go read and comment here;

http://wagnerdidit.blogspot.com

it was the funnest day we've ever had. Loved it!!

for more...see the link above...

Surprise!

2009-07-25T19:25:00.001-07:00

I have this friend. Her name is Lyndsey....

She is always smiling, full of optimism and Joy. A great example and ALWAYS willing to help out others. The kind of person that you just feel good to be around.

We all love her!!

Unfortunately....we missed her birthday when she was in Canada on July 1st.
We knew we would plan something for when she returned because she MORE than deserves a party, but time just kept flying by.
Thankfully Lacey used her sneakiness to plan a fun dessert party at Papa Haydn's for her on Thursday!
Lacey used the excuse that she needed to pick up a text book from down town that Aaron bought off Craigs list...despite Lyndsey's many questions and stupor, Lacey pulled it off!!! she arrived at Papa Haydn's to find us all waiting for her! and BOY was she surprised!!!

I was glad I could play a small part by pulling off my own sneakiness.

We knew Lynds would appreciate looking extra dolled up that night but how could we tell her to make sure she looks great if she was only going to pick up a book? SO....I told her I really needed to practice some new makeup techniques and asked her if she wouldn't mind if I did her makeup on Thursday afternoon. She agreed and so I went over during nap time to do it.

Little did she know that I planned to use all the makeup on her face that I had bought to give her for her birthday that night:) it was fun....she liked it ( I hope ) and she looked Dang hot!! lol

Anyway...I know you're all dying to see pics...so here ya go!

She was so surprised and overwhelmed she kept yelling "You Jerks!!" but then didn't even remember saying it afteward!! lol...it was quite hilarious

finally smiling for me after she gained her composure....

opening up her new makeup...

Nachelle, Becki, Holly

Julie, Sabrina, Moi

Lacey, Lynds, Val

Me, Lynds, Val...we thought it was cute that us 3 blonde girls all ended up wearing white shirts an baby blue jeans! too cute..

the Whole gang

Glad you had Fun Lynds and way to go Lace...you were too funny with how you pulled this off, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall of your truck on your way down town, good times, good times.....

Happy Birthday Girlfriend!

Is there such thing as a polite thief???

2009-07-21T20:56:00.000-07:00

Maybe.

today we went to the river with the girls. we only had 30min so we locked up our car and headed down...it was SO much fun...the girls LOVED it...there was a wading pool area and Megan and Erika were seriously in heaven! I really want to go back on thursday.

Well...we got back up to the car and lo and behold...broken glass everywhere! they smashed our window..i guess in hopes of finding something? did they not get an idea from the 3 slurpee cups and 2 carseats that we were not the type of family to have anything valuable they would want?. ugh.

the POLITE part was that they smashed the corner window beside erikas back seat window...we were thankful they didn't smash the big window. Thanks guys!;)

anyway...we sat there picking glass out of erika's carseat before we could load up and go home.

Steve's solution: Castrate them!

This is his solution for EVERY crime mind you...he's a LITTLE harsh I tell him...but when the crime is fresh, there is no convincing him otherwise lol.

nothing like an adventurous day.

p.s we've lost count how many times our car has been broken into and stolen since we've been married....it's like we have a thief magnet on our car....or perhaps its the "Toyota" decal?....hmm.

Half Marathon: Check!

2009-07-04T20:38:00.000-07:00

So today was the big day. I thought since i'm terrible at writing in my journal I should try to document the experience and my feelings here.

I have always loved running. When I was 6 my mom put me in a track club and I loved it! I love the race more than anything. There is this adrenaline that is just thrilling. I'm very competitive with myself so I really enjoy the race itself....more than the training. I haven't run since high school but for some reason always had on my life goals to run a marathon some day. ( half or full).
Anyway...I ran very lightly last summer (2mile runs a few nights a week) and then found some wonderfully experienced girls (Sabrina and Valerie) in february to motivate me to start running again. Me and My friend Natalie started running with them and it has been so much fun! I've really come to love these girls and appreciate their friendship and support SO much! They totally belive in me and are ALWAYS encouraging me which means A LOT to me! thank you ladies!!xo

anyway, after our 12K run on May 9th, we decided we wanted to do the Sauvie Island half marathon together (in 6wks time!). So...we started training. these girls are so great! they totally get my butt out of bed 3 times a week at 6am to run and I love it!

Anyway....long introduction. So today was race day. In my training I had 5 long runs: 6 miles, 7, 8, 9, and 10miles. one each week. I was nervous about running 13 as I'd never done it before! My goal was to try to run it at a steady 9min mile pace and finish in 2hrs. I was scared though b/c I just didn't know what my body would do past 10miles........

My problem is, when that buzzer goes off and the race is on, I just can't control myself.....My adrenaline kicks in and i'm off! I kept looking at my garmin forerunner and I was running at a 7:45-8:30pace......(too fast to keep up for 13miles i thought!) by mile 5 I got a burst of energy and ran that mile at a 7:46pace,but by mile 7 I was questioning whether I had pushed myself too hard and if I was going to burn out by mile 10.....I was pushing and pushing but too afraid to go that extra mile b/c I didn't know how long I could keep it up for. at mile 9, a group of 4 women passed me. my pace was at about 8:30 but I just didn't feel like I could go ANY faster....I was scared but decided to test my limits and see what I was made of, so to speak. Risking that I might burn out, i pushed a bit harder and got down to about a 8:15mile. by mile 10, my legs started to go numb. My feet were blistering and I was nervous.....

"You can't quit, you're NOT a quitter!" I told myself over and over. "this is the hardest thing I've ever done" i said to myself, only to hear myself respond back, " no it's not! you birthed a 10lb baby naturally, you can do this Nicole!" (LOL). A few times I actually had this weirdchill run through my body that gave me goose bumps and had to hold back tears. I knew I was pushing myself harder than I knew my body was capable of and I was SO tired. I just wanted to stop and walk.
I have run 4miles before at a 7:45 pace but running at a fast pace (for me) for 13 miles is a totally different story!!

by mile 11 and 12 I had to start running with my arms. It's hard to explain but I had to really pump my arms to keep my momentum going and to keep my legs moving b/c I just could'nt feel the muscles in my legs anymore or control them. I dropped to a 8:45mile for miles 12 and 13 but I didn't quit and I was REALLY working to stay below a 9min mile at that point.

when I was about a quarter mile from the finish I saw Steve and Megan and Erika, Megan's eyes were big as saucers and I waved and yelled out "Hi baby!!" as I rounded the corner to the finish.
I saw the time and somehow sprinted those last 50feet! I thought my legs were going to give out after I crossed the finish line...but they didn't!
My goal was 2hrs, UNDER 2hrs, even if just by a second. My actual finishing time was:
1hr 49min 24sec
My average pace was 8:21
I placed 109th out of 1162 women!
and I placed 29th out of 236 women in my age group (30-34yrs old).

I certainly exceeded my own expectations and yet within 10min was already wishing I could have done it faster! that is the competitive side of me. I always want to beat my last time:)
I know, however that I pushed as hard as I could at that time those last 2 miles. I really don't think my body could have gone any faster. I feel optimistic though....my goal is to eventually be able to run that at a steady 7:30 or 7:45 pace and I think if i train, some time in the next few years I can accomplish it:)
I'm glad that I took a risk. There was a big chance that by pushing myself that hard I WOULD burn out, but I did it and when my body WANTED to burn out, I just wouldn't let it. I'm learning as I get older that I really can do anything I put my mind to. The human spirit is a very powerful thing. I did pray while I was running too I should mention:) and I prayed before my race and I know the Lord helped me accomplish my goals.

It feels good to check a life goal off my list but I'm not done with running yet:) The race will keep calling me back for more:)

I STILL don't have that yearning to run a full marathon. running 26miles? hmm.....MAYBE in a few more years and after a few more half's we'll SEE. No promises Val!!;) haha.

Here are pictures from the race: (our computer is broken so I don't have a calibrated monitor and have no idea how the color will look on your end, so sorry!)

Here I come:)

I see my family...what a relief!

waving at Megan

sprinting to the finish!!

Valerie, me and Sabrina. WE missed you Natalie!!!
*Natalie injured her knee and couldn't run. we were so sad!

With our medals for completing the race

I love you girls!!!

Lee, Valerie and baby Jackson

Kevin, Sabrina and baby Kaleb

Me and my girls

Me and my best friend in the whole world!
* can I also say Thank you to my wonderful husband for always getting up early and trecking 2 little girls by himself to these races...it is NOT an easy job, I love you Steve!

The Father of My Children...

2009-06-21T09:17:00.001-07:00

Here are JUST 10 Reasons Steve is the best Father for our girls:
There are lots more but these are just a few....

1. He makes huge forts with them almost every Saturday while I'm at work..and I mean HUGE forts, I'm often very impressed by them!

2. He takes them on "Daddy-daughter Dates"

3. He always drops everything when he gets home from a long day at work to talk about their day and snuggle (or wrestle) with them

4. He tells them they are beautiful and how much he loves them and why...

5. He takes them to the park a lot!

6. He is the epitomy of F.U.N!

7. Sometimes at night, instead of reading books to Megan before bed, he sits and they talk about a subject. He uses this time to teach her something new. once they talked all about Sharks and their anatomy. Another time they talked about Space and the planets...(pretty much she knows more than I do on these subjects now)

8. He'll put on his swim shorts and jump in the bath with them, even though it's SUPER squishy, just b/c he loves them.

9. He takes them Swimming b/c they love it!! and he plays like a 10yr old, it's hilarious!!!

10. He is very cuddly and affectionate:)

Here are some more pictures of Steve with the girls that I found.
thank you for being the most incredible father Steve, we love you!

Love, your girls;)

He takes them to the zoo...

He plays with them in the snow...(yes He built that fort! with his brother).

He carves pumpkins....

He poses for Megans camera...

He drinks slurpees at the river

He plays "Where's Daddy?" and lets them cover him with stuffed animals...

he does the "Tough Stuff" that I can't handle....
(this is him taking megan to the dentist to get her first filling:( )

I love you Steve!!!!!!!
Even as I write this, I can't believe you are MY husband. You are the husband and father of my dreams. I am completely in love with you and so thankful for everything you do with our girls. I fall more in love with you each day.
Happy Fathers Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erika update

2009-06-16T23:28:00.001-07:00

Just a quick update. Erika is 19 1/2 mo's old.
She had her check up today...everything is great,..here are her stats:

weight: 30.4lbs
height: 35.4inches tall

she is such a BIG girl. I hope she joins the WNBA.
Have I ever told you all how MUCH I LOVE basketball? well I do. and perhaps I have a future superstar on my hands to fulfill the dreams that this 5'4 girl couldn't.

we'll see:)

getting ready for the recital...

2009-06-16T22:26:00.000-07:00

Monica and Megan getting ready last week. Steve took these pics and they are adorable.
Monica is Natalie's daughter:) they love each other!! so cute.

My "Spirited Child"

2009-06-13T22:47:00.001-07:00

This is my spirited child.

Being Erika's mother has been such a rewarding experience thus far. she is so different from Megan, who is very special in her own way and for her own reasons. But for now, lets talk about this one.
I have had a wide range of new emotions with this one. Not only does her extreme love and affection bring out the most enduring love from within my soul, but her wild and crazy tantrums can make my blood boil and cause such feelings of anger and frustration that I have trouble knowing how to handle them myself.

I am really excited to get myself a new book. It's called: "Raising your Spirited Child".
It has been recommended to me by many people and i'm sure my own mother wishes she had such a book when I was little.
I was scanning through some of it's pages on Amazon.com tonight and was amazed at how familiar I was with it already.
Erika is A LOT like I was as a child, Cute (lol), funny, sweet, VERY sensitive, and FIESTY! or SPIRITED as they call it. I know she will be a dynamic determined adult but I really need to figure out how to help her deal with her emotions and feelings and frustrations as a child.

It's funny, but sometimes when she is freaking out and kicking and screaming, often kicking ME if I get in the way, I'm surprised to find that instead of feeling mad I feel sad. I feel empathy. I can remember freaking out at my sisters as a young girl....I didnt' know how to control my strong emotions and I would just take it out on them....they were kind and loving enough to put up with me and try to help me through it.
Even now as an adult, I struggle to control my emotions. I was thinking tonight that maybe part of Heavenly Father 's plan of me having a spirited child was to help me see myself in her and by teaching her, actually teach myself:)

I Love Erika so much and i'm excited to start reading and learning and applying.
I feel so blessed to have such great children..and it's amazing and humbling to see their differences and know that Heavenly Father has trusted me to raise them and teach them. To help them with their strengths AND their weaknesses no matter what they may be:)

anyway...just wanted to share that...if you have a spirited child, you may want to look the book up too:):)

Pee-Pee-on-the-Pott-y!!

2009-06-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

I feel like I say this A LOT lately!!

I spent about 30min total on the stupid toilet yesterday...well not ME but Erika...I had to sit there though. she knows when she needs to go, she tells me she needs to go but then she gets on there and holds it! ugh...so frustrating. I kept telling her yesterday that if she went she could wear panties like Megan....so finally at 7:00pm last night while I was going pee...she told me SHE wanted to go, I put her on and.....she went!!!! Megan and I were screaming (as usual) we try to make it a BIG deal when she goes..

Then she got to wear panties and she was THRILLED ! LOL...she would NOT take them off for bed so I had to put them on over her diaper at bed time hahah...
oh well....

anyway...here she is posing for me in her "big girl" underwear!!

Steve has a JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-09T15:01:00.001-07:00

We are SO excited and So happy!!!
We are truly truly truly blessed:)

We have been praying everyday for a few months now and it is such a relief.
We've had many conversations late at night about what Might be....I always felt like the Lord would bless us with something great and I felt peace that it would be okay. It is nice to have those feelings confirmed now and know that this really is the best job for US and for Steve!
The Dr he'll be working with is wonderful, I met him last week and got such a great feeling from him. They do a lot of P.I. work and DOT physicals, and for those of you who know Steve know that he has REALLY wanted to practice somewhere where he can do more P.I cases:)
All of it is just such an answer to our prayers. I really believe when you have faith and you believe the Lord will bless you with something great, He does!! My Testimony of Heavenly Fathers Love and kindness continues to grow. I love Him so much.

The Doctor is opening a new practice in the next few months and then Steve will most likely be left in charge of this one (that experience alone is priceless I think). There are a few massage therapists and a whole office staff and Steve really likes them already.

Another cool thing is that 98% of their clients speak Russian (the Doc is not russian). Steve has already learned a lot of russian from just being their 4 days:) It would not surprise me if Steve became fluent in Another language!! (little stinker).

Another fabulous thing is that he only works Mon, Tues, Wed, Friday:) and Thursdays only if he needs to do paper work:) (this is of course MY favorite part! haha)
The salary is just what we wished for and the people there are awesome. I can't thank my Heavenly Father enough for taking care of us. I'm so proud of Steve, for all his hard work the last 9yrs and for the amazingly well rounded man he is. He will be an asset to any practice.

I'm SUPER excited for him to start his Career and we both know he will learn SO much at his new job:)

My new swimsuit....

2009-06-07T23:15:00.001-07:00

http://www.newport-news.com/shop/popup_lgview.aspx?style_id=32088207&zoom=1

Here's the new suit I bought. Of course I don't look as cute as her in it, but I do like it. Steve said if I put on heels, it would look like something Beyoncé would wear! LMBO.
so true, so true.
anyway...thought it was fun and different and I'm a sucker for white...it makes me look more tanned than I really am. I also wanted to wear a one piece I actually LIKED!
so there it is....I'm also looking for a one-piece with one strap..they're really cute but hard to find for less than $200. ridiculous.
see ya at the pool!

Baby Beluga or Cabaret Dancer?

2009-06-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

Today Megan had her Recital Photos. The actual ballet recital isn't for 2wks but they had to come in full makeup today for their group photo. I did Megan and Monica's makeup. Monica is Natalie's daughter. I put fake eyelashes on them and it was So cute!! too bad one set fell of while they got them into costume and Megan took the other one off during pictures! lol

When they said they'd be dressed as "baby Belugas" I was thinking more like a big fat white suit...but no...this is their costume!! Looks like they should be doing a kick line together!

Anyway...they are SO cute and I realized that Megan will never be allowed to wear makeup b/c she will look far too beautiful and I don't ever want to deal with boys! ha!
anyway...here they are, cute or what?!!

Here she still has ONE set of lashes on ! haha

This ones my fav!

that' s a blow-hole on top of her head! haha

her class

doing kissy faces:)

Megan and Monica. xo

Monica and my good friend Natalie

me and my baby beluga;)

such a sweetie.

I love my meggy. For everyone who knows her, they know she is one of a kind!
and cute as a button!!;)

GaGa

2009-06-06T23:03:00.000-07:00

Steve calls her Gaga. He said that's what she calls herself...I'm not sure but it sticks...now she's "Gaga" and "Moosh" lol....
Here she is posing for Steve today right after her bath.
I just want to kiss her. It makes me sad that she's getting so big. Some days I actually ACHE at the thought of them not being small enough to hold anymore. I love them both so much.
My heart hurts when I think of them getting older.
Perhaps it's time for another?;)

There's the "Cheese" smile again...it's SO cute

This one is priceless. Should win an award. I love her.

Happy girl.

I love you Gaga.
I love you Mooshy.
I love you Erika Brooke:)

Dessert Night at Margo's

2009-06-06T21:21:00.000-07:00

Margo planned this great Girls night last weekend......where basically she played Martha Stewart and we all pigged out on dessert all night.
Here a few pictures of all of us crazy girls that night.
Disclaimer** I TOLD you ladies, I would post these pictures! haha...next time maybe you'll pose for me;)

pic above...just SOME of the dee-licious desserts that were there that night!

YUMM YUMM strawberries!

Pregnant lady diggin' in!

Tahsha and I

Holly and Lacey

Daya, Tahsha and Alicia

Becki posing for me:)

"The Hostess"!! Read her shirt! soooo cute!

Daya, Me, Lacey and Susan...I'm having a prego sandwhich:):)

more ladies

OKAY!...here we go...these girls would NOT give me one decent picture! they just kept laughing and I kept snapping (with warning) but they refused to calm down...so I told them I would post them all...and I am! HA!

Take 2...

Take 3...thanks for ruining that one Becki!

Take 4...Margo..what kind of smile is THAT?

Take 5...not bad but Margo isn't looking at the camera...

and Take 6...that's about as good as it was gonna get....Margo is holding in her laughter..

Nachelle and baby Jacob

Me and Susan

it was fun and I think we all vowed to never eat dessert again!

Multnomah Falls....to the TOP we go!

2009-06-06T19:35:00.001-07:00

*Why won't it let me type above my first photo anymore??

We decided very last minute on Tuesday to go for a hike. As we were driving..oh and I should mention ... we were driving to what SHOULD have been a very easy hike since I was going to have to carry 35lbs on my back (which is..do the math, a third of my body weight)..we realized we have NEVER (in 4yrs) hiked to the top of Multnomah falls.
So, we stopped.

I got Erika on my back....then we switched carriers b/c it was hurting my hips, then tried to carry meg instead...then switched back...etc etc...I was driving Steve nuts, I'm sure.

Anyway...I eventually realized no matter WHAT Carrier, or WHAT child I was carrying...this was not going to be easy. The hike is 620Ft over one mile...pretty much straight up!;)......
It was a good work out to say the LEAST! I felt like my legs were on fire. but for some reason I like that feeling, haha! So off we went,

This is the only picture of us on our way up

Steve and the girls at the top. Erika is pointing b/c I was trying to get her to look at me so I said "Erika, where's the camera?!"...and this is what she did, haha, what a ham!
(click on the photos to view them LARGER)

Our little family. I love my family!

This is Erika's "Cheese" face she does for photos.
Ironically she NEVER looks at the camera when she says it!

Erika overlooking the falls

620ft straight down. Makes me dizzy just looking at it!

This looks easier than it is! lol

Stevie and I trying to get pics of the falls behind us

There we go! it took about 8 pictures to get this right.

On the way back down, the Moosh fell asleep on my back...which pushed my head foreward..that wasn't too comfy:)

Steve and I laughed that this is probably the first time in history that a Wagner baby has fallen asleep ANY where other than their crib or bed!!

Megs new haircut!!!

2009-06-03T21:09:00.000-07:00

"BEFORE"
So Megan Finally got to go to the "Fancy Big Girl Salon" and get her self a REAL haircut:):)
Here she is with my stylis Patti at Green Salon

In the Big Girl chair:)

Snip snip...here's the first big chunk!

cute little face!

Can you tell she LOVES it? ! haha...she was SO excited when she saw the back!

"good job Patti!"

"AFTER"

Isn't it adorable???

She's such a big girl!
Thanks Patti, you're the best!!

Summer come early...

2009-05-27T21:38:00.000-07:00

So today was our first REAL day in the pool!The water was 82 degrees and absolutely GLORISOUS!! we spent a fulll 3hrs out there and loved every minute of it!!
I've come to learn that Erika tans just as well as Megan so I'm going to have 2 little babies who look like their half black by the end of the summer!-So cute!!
I love having the pool here, it is awesome!

Megan and Steve doing their traditional yearly "Dunk for the Camera"

Megan can swim with out her floaty this year.....she swims about 10ft at a time!

Erika LOVES the water but also loves to just sit and kick her feet, she's pretty fun!!

"The Wagner Girls"

LOTS of Jumping going on today!

I love this Picture of Erika, this was when she was first getting in...she actually LIKES to wear her hat and sunglasses! she had them on for almost the entire time!

She's saying "cheese", now we just have to get her to look at the camera:)

Cute little A.J-what a poser for the camera! he was LOVING the pool today!

Lyndsey and Becks...he also LOVED the water!!

I LOVE THESE TWO PICS (top and bottom) they are so cute with their momma's

Could you have a cuter smile???

awwwwwwwwwwww

Here is everyone at a glimpse!

Pump me up!

2009-05-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

So, I'm planning to run this half marathon in 5wks and i'm a little nervous.
I'm hoping that having my Ipod with some great music will distract me and help me finish the race.
SO...I need suggestions for songs for my Ipod....anything with inspiring words, beat etc. doesn't necessarily have to be a fast up beat song...some of my favorite running songs so far are :

Hook by Blues Travellers
If I were a boy by Beyonce
Paralyzer by Finger Eleven...

so you can see I have no rules when it comes to running music...
So PLEASE give me your suggestions!!!!

thanks:)

Bed Time blunders......need ADVICE!

2009-05-23T06:35:00.000-07:00

So this week we took the leap to start putting Megan and Erika in the same room at the same time at bedtime. Normally we put Megan in our room til we go to bed and then move her over into her room with Erika.
the first night they were excited and took almost 2hrs to go to sleep.
the rest of the week has been better....usually 30-40min.
HOWEVER, the mornings are getting terrible. Megan is waking up around 6:30am for who knows WHAT reason? ugh....and Erika is gettng VERY overtired.
Last night Megan woke Erika up just as she was falling asleep and then Erika didn't fall asleep until 8:30pm!!! (which is VERY late in this house!).

Megan knows the rule is no coming out of the room or getting up til atleast 7am! she has a clock. This morning at 6:20am I go in and Megan has the LIGHT ON and is saying, "Oh Erika, i'm going to let you sleep in. " YEAH RIGHT! fat chance now! Erika is crying and is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired!

I was seriously FURIOUS!!!!!!!!!!! I told her to get into my bed, among another few choice words and I swear I was shaking I was so mad......i'm now PRAYING I can get Erika back to sleep but chances are unlikely. (Plus, now I'm wide awake at 6:30am and am SO tired and need to work all day! ugh!!)

What do you do???????????? how and WHEN will I get these two to co-habitate without disrupting everyone else? I'm mostly concerned about these mornings...they both need more sleep!!!
I know there are mothers out there who have 2 who have gone through this, so PLEASE give me your advice!

2009-05-19T20:37:00.000-07:00

There are no pictures of me face on coming into the finish b/c Steve didn't see me!! lol...I keep joking I must have been running too fast! haha...but seriously, even though I purposely wore a bright pink shirt he said he never saw me til I was running past him...oh well! so here is a picture of my arm! haah...

Last weekend I ran my first 12K run around Lake Oswego. It was a 7.44mile "challenging" race around the beautiful lake. I never found out til the week BEFORE that this was a challenging route with LOTS of hills so I was a bit scared...we had only trained on flat terrain but I surprised myself and I was really proud of my results.

I had told myself I would be happy with 74 min ( 10min mile) and when I was coming up to the finish line and it said 64minutes I was SO excited!!!! It was hard, I pushed myself HARD the whole race but I was so glad in the end:)
My official results were:

64min 02 sec / 8min 35 sec mile
It always surprises me....well at least with the 2 races I've done so far that I can run so much faster during a race than I do when I train. It must be my adrenaline.
I placed 89th out of 369 women
and placed 19th in my age group -which was 83 women between the ages of 30 and 34yrs old.

I'm really hoping to improve on these results and eventually (and I mean EVENTUALLY) be able to run these races at a 7 min 30 sec mile:)

I have to say the most rewarding part of all this running I've been doing is feeling like I'm getting back to my roots. You know how you look back to when you were a kid or a teenager or in college and wish you could do some of the things you did then?? well you can!!! In high school, I played all kinds of sports but my MAIN sport was ALWAYS running. Since I was 6yrs old I had been running and ran my first competitive race at 8yrs old. I love that I feel like I'm getting back to do what I LOVE! and I LOVE running!!!!!!!!!
To make the weekend even better, my mom and Jeff came down. AS I was running down the home stretch, I heard my mom yell "Go Nicole!!" she was so cute and it just warmed my heart!! I had a big smile and I didn't care who thought it was silly that some mom was cheering on her 30yr old daughter, it made my day!! Thanks MOM! and Jeff for coming:) love you both!!

Anyway, here are the photos!!!

busting my butt to get across the finish line!!

do I look happy or what ? lol...I think I was smiling at the girls when I finally found them!!

and now onto my running partners!!!!! Here is Valerie, she's run a marathon and half before..she's great!!

Here is Natalie!!! she's my friend and this is her first race...I think???she's done so great!

Here is Sabrina (she's waving to her little baby boy), she also has run multiple marathons and halfs before. Her and Valerie are my inspiration!!!

Go TEAM US!! LOL... that's "US" not "U.S" haha...we have fun together, I think we make a good team, we are great at encouraging each other.
I love them all!!!

Here is my mom and Jeff!!

Me and my babies!!

The loves of my life:)

and of course "The LOVE" of my life. Steve has been so patient with me with all my running and watching the girls etc, thanks honey!!

I didn't get pics of the others with their families, but here is Sabrina, Kevin and cute little Kaleb:)

We are now planning to run a half marathon on July 4th so stay tuned for those pics too!!

Mothers Day part 2

2009-05-10T20:08:00.001-07:00

Oh my gosh, I had to post these. Megan brought her digital Camera into Subway the other day and while we're standing in line, Steve and I look over and here are the two monkeys taking pictures of themselves at the table!! does it get ANY cuter???

Happy Mothers Day

2009-05-10T19:52:00.001-07:00

Today was a Great Mothers Day......one of the reasons being MY mom was here!! It was so great that she was here today, it's been YEARS since we've been together on Mothers Day and my mom has made some major changes in her life lately which just made the visit all that more special:)
Steve took these beautiful pictures of us yesterday after I did a little makeover on my mom-which was a lot of fun-she felt so pretty :)
We went to church together today and then I laid on the couch and we all just hung out while Jeff ( my mom's Fiancee made us a roast beef dinner!mmm-SO good!).

I woke up this morning at 9am (woohoo) and Steve and the girls had planned a "Mothers Day Hunt". Yes...like an Easter Egg Hunt but different.
There were 7 gifts for me to find, according to Megans instructions:) and the first ones I found (also my favorites) were home made plaster imprints of Megan and Erika's hands and feet:) Sadly, they were practically the SAME size so Stevie had to label them accordingly:) He also got me a 12lb vest to wear while exercising at home, a Yoga mat and a Pedometer:) it was fantastic!! Thanks Honey!!!

On Friday when they arrived we went to Cannon Beach. here are just a few pictures from that day of My mom and I:)

-Sharing a special moment on the beach...I hardly noticed the secret camera man taking this pic *aka: Steve.

I was teasing my mom about how short she seemed. Really it was just b/c we were on a hill but I took full advantage of it!
haha.

Us with the Mooshy

Us with the girls.

Happy Mothers Day Mom, I love you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!!!!

Photo post from last MONTH!

2009-05-07T23:22:00.000-07:00

So, I'm REALLY behind...I just found all these pictures I forgot about!! oops.

1. We went to the new pool:

Megan: the Brave one. goin' under!

Erika was not as impressed as we thought she'd be.

she really loved standing on the side lol.

But....of course, Mommy could get her to laugh;)

I love this one!

she has this thing lately about rubbing water on her nose. Not sure what that is all about.

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2. Erika just playing:

She loves the little people. She lined them all up here one day.

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3. These are my snuggle bugs.

my girls LOVE to climb on me and hug me and I must say I really don't mind. they are so cuddly and cute. I love them!

her Mooshy has Me AND Megan tickling her back! little stinker.

well that' s all folks...just playing catch up:)
til next time....;)

Holy Cute-ness!

2009-05-07T23:00:00.001-07:00

(Do you love how Erika is just playing with the toothpaste?)

Okay, so the other day, I'm doing a trial run with a bride and Megan takes Erika in the bathroom. they are laughing and talking and having fun. Then Megan brings out Erika and "TaDa"!....looks like we have another hair/makeup artist in the family.
I laughed so hard, I thought this was seriously awesome and the best part was that Erika loved it! hahah...I can just see them as teenagers now, so fun!!
I'm so glad they are such great friends.
Notice Erika's bright pink Lip gloss:)

Ta-da!
(yes she thinks she's a rapper with her one hiked pant leg)

Oh Megan....when she gets older, she's gonna regret being nude in ALL of her photos. sigh....

A glimpse of "the do" so cute.

Nice drool Moosh.

Best friends. Sisters. Satisfied customer.

Announcing...

2009-04-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

www.nicolewagnermakeup.com

I'd love to hear your feedback, I'm so excited it's finally done. I love it. Thanks to my husband for all his help and to all the wonderful Photographers I know for providing me with great images!!!

Photo UPDATE

2009-04-07T12:25:00.000-07:00

Okay...so after my long winded post yesterday, I finally downloaded a months worth of pictures off the camera...so this willl be a Photo update blog...just a few cute things:

Megan is a great builder....this was a tower she built me one day last month. we were pretty proud of it!

The moosh LOVES to eat and actually she is really good at feeding herself and even holds all her utensils properly:)

In our family, we have a tradition we started a few years ago of having "Daddy-Daughter" dates and "mommy-daughter" dates:) Actually we got the idea from church...I think it's great and if you don't already do it, you should try it....

So, anyway...this was their date last month...a hike! Megan loved it! Steve was exhausted as she was supposed to hike most of it with him but instead opted to catch a ride! haha....

I love this one. look at that cute face!!!

One tired daddy.

When we got home from Maui last month...Megan had worked VERY hard to decorate the house for us (with Lacey's help of course!) she posted welcome home pics everywhere!!! so cute.

I just love this pic. My little bath baby with her cute piggy tails.

Erika is getting into dress up more and more...she found Steve's hat one day and loved it...

and did I mention she is obsessed with ALL of Megans shoes...and boots

So, as I mentioned yesterday, Erika LOVES to have her back (and arms, legs, tummy etc) scratched or tickled..the other day we walked into the living room to find this.

Anytime Megan tried to stop or get up and leave Erika would lift up her shirt and yell "mama ! Mama!" (which means "megan" lol). She is definitely MY daughter:)

**oh, oh...and something kind of exciting for me.....

It looks like Erika has picked up the artistic talent from me and her Uncle Shawn. For those who dont' know Steve's brother is a professional animator: http://gibsonanimation.com/

He is VERY talented..and I have been drawing since befor I was 2yrs old.

Anyway...not only is Erika left handed (she hasn't used her right hand for over 2mo's and uncle shawn is a lefty too) but she holds her pen PERFECTLY! we never showed her how she just does it. This is her drawing at 16mos old. This is incredible to me and very exciting. Megan didn't hold her pen like this til she was atleast 2.5yrs old:)

I love it! so cute...she looks like a little grown up there coloring away. I can't wait to see more of her talents emerge:)

man am I behind...I don't even know what to blog about.....

2009-04-06T20:58:00.000-07:00

Man....I'm SO far behind. I'm sorry..I've just gotten really lazy.
I guess I will just make this an UPDATE post for all my friends and family who are out of town:

1. Steve has completely finished school. He will write his liscensing exam in May and then he is free to work as Dr. Wagner:) With the economy, we have not had too much luck lately but we are both choosing to be optimistic and we encourage each other and are trying to exercise our Faith that Heavenly Father will bless us with something great:)

2. I'm starting my own REAL WEBSITE! it will be www.nicolewagnermakeup.com
I have never been lacking for business but this year with the economy we have noticed things are abit slower and so we decided to make the investment to get me a newer website and hope to generate for exposure for Nicole Wagner Makeup!!!

3. Megan has recently interviewed with the School nearby for early entry into Kindergarten.
Down here, you MUST be 5yrs old by September 1st or you have to wait til next year. No exceptions. Your only option is to apply for early entry and have your child go through interviews and testing to see if they can score in the 98th Percentile across the nation, proving they are a talented and gifted child and therefore being admitted "early" into kindergarten.
Megan misses the cutoff by a mere 3wks. At first I wanted to keep her home for my own selfish reasons...i'm just not ready to let her go..but everyone who knows her has told me (gently) that she is way too smart and READY to hold her back. I agreed and started to make some phone calls.
she had her first interview with the Principal where she read the word "WILDCATS" all by herself !(keep in mind she is barely 4.5yrs old)..she blew us all away. He recommended her to take the TAG testing and said he thinks she needs to start this year.
Today she was invited back to attend the kindergarten class for an hour this morning and then she did a reading test where the lady said she thinks she's at about a first grade level but wants her to come back for further testing this week. SO....that is where we're at with that.

4. Erika. Oh Erika..that kid cracks us up!!! she is starting to say some words....they might not be completely understandable to everyone else but they are to us:
the words include:
"Aaaa Duh!" (all done)
"Cheh-deh" (Chester. The squirrel who visits us on our patio each day)
"zzzzzhhhh" (cheese)
"ssssss" (sleep)
" dgeh dgeh" (danger!)
She also walks around saying "mow" with her little cat all the time having us kiss it lol.
she does lots of signs and is just an all around funny kid.
I have noticed how much she is like me!! she LOVES to get dirty (okay, I meant ME when I was LITTLE.). she will sit and play in the dirt for a long time and be totally okay with getting filthy. she loves to collect rocks and bring them home. She also LOVES to have her back scratched. For those of you who know me best (Mom, Dad, Tina, Tracey, Davina)..you know what I'm talking about! haha. Anyway..we can be ANYWHERE and if I start scratching her back she immediately lays down. she did it on the metal stairs at the playground the other day. too funny! Often she will come up to me, lifting the back of her shirt saying "mama, mama!!" b/c she wants me to tickly her back. I love that my genes got passed on somewhere! lol.

5. I'm back to my running again. Last May I took up running again which has always been a love of mine, since I was a little girl. Just ask my mom...she is sure to recount the story of my first race at bear creek park...that story just never gets old;). Anyway..I ran a few days a week last year from May to October....did my first 10K in September but then it got too cold and I stopped.
So I've been back at it for aobut 8wks now and I'm currently training for a 12K (7.5miles) on May 9th. It should be fun. I have such a competitive spirit ( I try to control it) but I just love the feeling of getting in a huge group and running....it pushes me to run harder and the adrenaline is so fun.
I 've been running with a group of girls from church and we go 3 times a week at 6am. It is so beautiful to get up early before the world is up and to run. As hard as it is to get up in the morning ...I NEVER regret it..I always feel great after:) I WANT To run a half marathon this year but unfortunately all the days I could find I already have weddings so I might just keep signing up for 5-12K's to keep me busy til next year.

Well....I think that's about it for the Little Wagner Family:) we are loving life and are so grateful for all our blessings!!!! I have absolutely nothing to complain about!! (that doesn't mean I DON'T complain...but I really have no reason to!;)

Hope all of you are welll...

What happens when your 16mo old is the size of a 2 1/2 yr old?

2009-03-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

She climbs out of her crib!!!!
I'm not even kidding.
I put her to bed tonight and a few minutes later I heard this really hard cry so I went in and she's standing on the floor reaching into her crib to get her blankie and stuffed animal.
I think she was more upset that she couldn't reach them than she was that she fell on the floor!
I knew she'd be the kind of kid to climb out some day just didn't think it would be this soon!
....what a nut!

MAUI Trip 2009

2009-03-09T23:22:00.000-07:00

Okay...I'm FINALLY blogging about our Maui Trip....

** disclaimers before you read on:
1. There are ALOT of pictures and this is just the tip of the iceburg lol
2. If you don't want to see me in a bikini or are planning to judge me for wearing one..don't look b/c I Lived in it anytime I was at the beach:)

Maui was wonderful...aside from the constant wind storm we had, I was in love.
by far the best part of the trip for me was our day trip to the Island of Lanai:)
I was able to swim with a resident pod of dolphins (story below) and fullfill a dream I've had for over 18yrs.

Day 1 on the plane...we were SO excited ...we could not believe we wer ectually on our way!!

Notice how I look all chipper and Steve is about to fall asleep ? lol...it was actually opposite, I fall asleep as soon as the plain takes off everytime...it's like someone has given me a sedative.
We couldn't help ourselves...we got to our hotel, dropped off our luggage and literally RAN to the beach and jumped in! I was incredibly happy in that moment!!

We grabbed the first person we saw to get a picture of us before we got drenched.

I learned the power of waves and water very quickly....I was in the water and a huge wave came behind me and knocked me into a full summer sault which slammed my head into the floor of the ocean and left me with a lower back muscle pulled for 3days. oops....we should have listened to the pool boy who told us not to go in.................nah!

Just enjoying the beach infront of our hotel:)

That big scrape on steve's chest is from his first encounter with the waves too...he got washed up on shore and scraped himself pretty bad on the sand:)

we look so happy here! and we WERE!

Steve riding the waves in

This was at Big Beach in Makenna...it was one of my favorite beaches

we met a nice young couple on their honeymoon who took some pics for us

Look at Steve. He is SO funny! he said going in feet first with the waves was "the best" lol

a beautiful shot of our beach

"Sunset Love" in Lahaina harbour

Thanks to Google earth we found this AMAZING place called "La Parouse Bay"...

it is so stinkin' beautiful!

Steve snorkelling. we did LOTS of snorkelling and LOVED it

I LOVED this water....about to jump in!

It was colder than it looked...next time I'm going in May!

Recognize this guy?

cute.

On the boat heading to Lanai for our day trip snorkelling....

still on the boat

first stop. snorkelling in a bay near Lanai

we look like snorkelling nerds here, I love it.

This the island of Lanai...there is 2 hotels there and that' s it. Cost from $500 - $7,000 night to stay there. it's incredible! I want to live there.

Oh...and this is Steve's bay watch picture! LMBO

The Pod of Dolphins I swam with!!!!

When the dropped us off on Lanai for 3hrs, we left our snorkelling gear on the boat=not smart.

we were on teh beach for mabye 3minutes when we saw these guys. You've never seen me strip down and get in that water so fast in my life! I swam SO FAR to get to them but it was totally worth it. there was about 50 and one baby. truly the most amazing experience!!

My bay watch picture lol

everytime I look at these I laugh to myself and think we are such geeks and the people there probably thought we were nuts

Hiking up Sweet heart rock

Sweet heart rock is taht rock to the left of me in the background. Legend has it a man took his dead girl friend up there, barried her and then jumped off and killed himself.

You could see the grave. Not sure if it's true or not but it is a cool story.

On the beach of Lanai

I loved the palm trees

back on Maui...overlooking some crazy coastline

what I call the "crazy bridge". This should not be allowed. super freaky.

Hiking:)

I think My husband looks like a GQ model here. don't you?

Me getting really tired of smiling for the camera. This put him off for a while.

and this is me about to cross the "crazy bridge again"

On our dinner cruise...overlooking the mountains of Maui. so beautiful!

I have to add that while I was in Maui...I missed my girls SO much..when I got home and woke up Megan to see her at midnight I just cried and cried. I learned to appreciate my role as a mother even more and how important quality time is with them. I've been staying off the computer more and just being with them. I'm glad I learned that while being away.

As for the girls...you're probably wondering what we did with them?

They were in GREAT hands with Lacey the whole week. She far exceeded my expectations in being a mother of 3!!!

She has been a great friend and I can't ever thank her enough for being so fabulous.

Her sister in law and My other friend Lyndsey was here all week to help her out. They took the girls to the western party at the school and did so many fun things with them. I felt so much peace knowing they were in the hands of 2 women who would LOVE them the way that I do!

thank you so much girls for everything...I will truly love you forever for helping us out the way you did!!!

Here they are!

for more pictures of their fun filled week, see Lacey's blog at:

http://poytress.blogspot.com

seriously?

2009-03-09T23:04:00.001-07:00

If Erika grows up to be a total bratt because she always got her way and I could never say No to her...just remember these pictures and You'll understand why....

I'm just kidding....but seriously? ?? I must be blinded by love because I really don't think I've ever seen a cuter face in all my life! I am totally smitten...

Here's my little Mooshy makeing her most common faces:

Oh Mooshy...how I love you so....you're my spicy little girl...You're so full of fire and I Love it!!

12yrs and counting.....

2009-03-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

So, today March 8, marks 12yrs since I was baptized as a member of

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints.

I know I still haven't posted pictures of Maui but I thought this was more important. I want to publicly express my love and gratitude to my Savior Jesus Christ and my loving Heavenly Father for all they have done for me.
12yrs ago I was 18yrs old (now you all know how old I am…incase you didn’t pick it up in December;)).
Anyway, I had graduated high school and was dating a guy who was a member of the church. When he took me home to his family, I felt something different in their home. A unity, a peace, a love. I was drawn to them. I wanted to be there all the time. I loved the way I felt when I was there.
After a few months, I happened to pick up his Book of Mormon. I didn’t really know what it was. I opened it up and began to read.
I read the title page, introduction and entire Joseph Smith testimony in the beginning of the book about how the book came to pass.
(you may read that here: http://scriptures.lds.org/en/bm/jstestimony )
I can’t describe what I felt that day when I was reading it except to say that something burned within me and I knew that what I was reading was true.
I walked out and asked His mom if I could join them at church that Sunday.
The first time I walked into the LDS church, I felt at home. I began studying with the sister missionaries and it took me on a journey that would change the course of my life forever. In hindsight, I still feel so humbled and grateful that the Lord blessed ME with the gospel. I never did anything to deserve it. …but isn’t that how his love is? Unconditional and endless.
I have such a strong desire to share the gospel but have not made much of an effort the last few years to do so. I feel bad about that. If you’re my friend or acquaintance and I have not shared my testimony of or love for the Savior with you, I’m sorry. I hope I can do that now.

To say that joining the church took me out of darkness and into marvelous light is an understatement. I remember the first few weeks and even months after I was baptized….I felt this constant light around me. I still have days where I feel that…mostly when I’m striving to read the scriptures daily and make sure I’m praying more honestly and earnestly.
But I think what I want to express the most is what I’ve learned about Jesus Christ and My Heavenly Father by Personal experience. I have learned that I am a daughter of God. That truth alone changed my life and gave me a sense of self worth that I had been lacking for a long time.
I have learned that His love is Infinite. It is all encompassing….it can heal a broken heart or even a broken relationship. It can forgive and help US to forgive. His love is patient, kind, and sees past who are we now into what we will become. It is hopeful. I have never had someone have so much faith in me as I have felt the Lord has in me. I know He loves me and I have come to learn and understand that He loves ALL his children…he is No respecter of persons. His children are his children. He does not know hatred. When I have His spirit with me I feel happy, peaceful, kind, generous, jovial, patient, humble. This has taught me that HE must have these characteristics since I have them when I have His spirit.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt and because of my own personal experiences with Him that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God. That He lives and that He loves us. ALL of us. I know that he Died for all mankind, that all mankind might be saved.
I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is His church and was restored to the earth through the Prophet Joseph Smith. I know this because I earnestly prayed and asked Him and he answered me by the Power of the Holy Ghost.
I love Him. I can’t express how much I love Him and how strong a desire I have to do better….and to BE better. I want to show Him my love and gratitude by being obedient to His commandments.
I’m so grateful for my family, my job and everything good in my life. I recognize His hand in my life and know that all my blessings have come from Him.

I Know that He lives.

In a world that is trying to persuade men to believe that He was only a prophet or just a good man, I declare my knowledge that:
He Is the Son of God.

I know that the path to Happiness is found by following Him.
I love Him.

If you want more information about the church you can go to:
http://mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/
or of course I'm always willing to answer questions:):)

6yr Anniversary post

2009-02-14T13:26:00.000-08:00

So today is Steve and I's 6yr anniversary:)...Yes, we were married on Valentines Day.

I am still so inlove with My Stevie and we often reflect upon how blessed we are to have eachother and to love eachother so much.

I thought I would put up a post about all the ways Steve has supported me and been there for me the last 6yrs as we've grown together as husband and wife AND as parents:)

1. At the Birth of our daughter Megan, Steve was right by my side, giving me a blessing when they said I'd have to have a C-section after pushing for almost 3hrs and sharing the tearful joy when Megan came out Naturally!! *no C-section.
I'll never forget the love and support I felt from Steve those first few hours, days and weeks.
B/c I had lost so much blood I passed out shortly after giving birth and didn't wake for a few hours. Steve was left alone with a SCREAMING baby not knowing what the heck to do with her.
When we got moved to our own room, I could not roll over, sit up, or move at all on my own...which meant Steve was the one to get up and tend to Megan all night long virtually alone.
At one point he went home to shower at about 3am and come right back b/c I couldn't get to megan on my own (he had been up for more than 24hrs I think)...he said he just layed on the shower floor he was so tired:(
When we arrived home, he did everything I needed him too and constantly told me how amazing he thought I was.
Our love grew.
2. After I had Megan, she cried for the first few months ALOT and I fell into a really bad post pardum depression. I'm sure, looking back, that living with me was a bit of hell at that time, but Steve stood by me and loved me anyway. I know it was the hardest time in our marriage but Steve still did all he could to make us happy. He made sure I got out a few times a week alone just to get away from the crying. He helped me sleep train Megan amongst other things.
Again, our love grew.

2b. During this year after Megan was born when things were really rough, Steve made Dinner for us pretty much every night. I hated cooking back then even more than I do now and he would come home from school and make dinner every night. I still feel grateful for that help looking back
MY love DEFINITELY Grew for him at that time.

3. When I decided to go to school to get my makeup liscense, Steve stayed home every saturay (and pretty much every saturday since) with Meg so I could chase my dream.
Because of this sacrifice he has missed out on A LOT of extra curicular activities with friends and has given up his only free time during the week because he understood that this sacrifice blessed our family as a whole. I think b/c he has had so much alone time with Meg and now Erika he has become a better father.
Our love continues to grow as we work together.

4. Steve always listens to me when I need him to. He knows when something is REALLY bothering me and he has always been willing to work on any issues we have. Sometimes this means swallowing pride and being more humble to make sure that our marriage is successful and thriving. I know that when it comes down to it, he will do anything it takes to make our marriage work. I love him for that.
Everytime we have one of those "reset" conversations....
our love grows.

5. Steve is a constant support and help to me with the girls:
getting up at night (when they were babies), doing their bedtime routines, changing diapers, playing with them when I have no energy left. He is always willing to help me with dishes, laundry, vacuuming etc. He ALWAYS lets me go out with friends when I need a break and never makes me feel bad about it or complains.
As a women, this REALLY makes you love your spouse more...and so.....
Our love grows.

Steve was saying the other night how choosing your spouse can really be a gamble and how lucky we are that we both turned out "normal" (whatever that is! lol)....but it's true...I am so blessed. Steve is everything and more than I ever dreamed of having in a husband: he is charming, FUNNY, smart, charismatic, kind, romantic, spontaneous, and talented. He is the most amazing father and he loves us 3 girls more than anything....well maybe his 5D is right up there with us, but still. (kidding).

anyway, Thanks for the past 6yrs Steve. I love you SO much.
xo

"Exceptional Vendor"

2009-02-12T08:02:00.000-08:00

One of the photographers I work with, Amy Vining, has featured me on her blog as one of her "Exceptional Vendors". I thought that was so sweet of her! you can check out the post here:

www.movingpicturesblog.com

However, I was even more amazed at what my past brides and brides to be wrote as comments to that post! I almost cry when I read them.....it's so touching to hear what they think of me..and also makes me want to continue to live up to that reputation!!
I love my job! I love love love doing makeup...always will..I can't imagine a life without me doing it...I am SO blessed!!!

Anyway..thank you to all my amazing brides and thank you for allowing me to be a part of such an important day in your life!!

Twilight

2009-02-07T11:21:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it...I totally got sucked in. I haven't read the books but last night I went and saw Twilight...about 45minutes in, I was totally smitten.

Bella and Edward are amazing together. It's so silly b/c we all know vampires don't exist and men like that don' t exist...but man it sure pulls at your emotions!!

I can't wait to see the next one...and i'll definitely buy the movie when it comes out!

I'm such a SUCKER!

So....my rating 10/10!

L.O.V.E.D IT!!!

(disclaimer* I'm totally a fool for romance, not all people will agree with my raving review of the movie)

A quick trip to the Park

2009-02-04T08:15:00.000-08:00

So the last 2 days we've had some semi-warm weather...
erika has been putting grabbing her jacket and shoes lately and standing at the door so she is really dying to get outside. yesterday we saw a small window of opportunity and took it!!
Our friend Julie has a little girl, Lucie, the same age as Erika and also a 2mo old baby girl Holly who is in teh hospital:(...so..lacey was watching Lucie for the day and we took all of them to the park. It was fun and we got some great pics!

I could not get over how cute this picture was! Her mouth is full of peanut butter sandwich! lol

This is Lucie. She was born 6 days after Erika. They are so cute and almost the exact same size.

This picture was SO priceless it was worth posting in color AND Black and white:)

Meg just "hangin'" around:)

Little AJ or "Age" as Meg calls him ....

Or "deg geh"as Erika calls him ! haha

Erika and AJ

My beautiful little girl:) She looks so much Like Steve!

Sisters= Best friends Forever

Mooshy deep in thought...

Lacey walking with AJ and Lucie. did I mention Lacey is also 5 mo's pregnant? she's such a trooper!

Afterwards we walked to check the mail and they were all standing banging on the boxes and I said "Lace, quick take a picture!" she caught this and I thought it was an awesome shot..even Steve approved, Good job Lacey!!

well, that was our day at the park..

OH..and I had to post this picture...

When I got back from running this morning the sun was just coming up.

THIS is the view of Mt. Hood from our living room...we are so blessed..

isn't this beautiful??!!

Hot tubin it...

2009-02-04T08:06:00.001-08:00

The other day it was quite warm, considering the freezing weather we've had, so Lacey suggested we ask them to turn the hot tub on and take the kids in.
Megan and AJ are especially excited when we do this but Erika had a blast too:)

I love the Mooshes face here

Such a cute picture

Erika Jumping...she wanted to keep doing this over and over again. I can' t wait til summer...the pool will be so much fun with 2 crazy girls!

Megan and AJ jumping...AJ Jumped on 2 and Megan jumped on 3 lol...so funny!

This is how chaotic it is when we're in there!

Erika loves it when Lacey kisses her

Me and My mooshy baby.

My sweet little muffin.

Crazy Eights....

2009-02-02T10:43:00.000-08:00

I was tagged....here you go:

8 FAVORITE SHOWS
I don't think I even watch 8 shows...but here are my favorites
1. Biggest Loser
2. The Bachelor
3. The Office
4. American Idol
5.
6.
7.
8.

8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY
1. Went to church
2. Read the Ensign
3. watched the Office with Steve
4. felt the Spirit in testmony meeting
5. cleaned my living room
6. showered..(it was the Sabbath okay..not alot exciting other than church)
7. played with My girls
8. Made out with my cute husband;0)

8 THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO
1. Steve being done with school
2. Our 6yr anniversary next week:)
3. Going to Hawaii
4. My "secret" for Steve (Can't say here)
5. Getting my hair colored today
6. Sleep.....always!!:)
7. Owning a house, so my sister and her kids can come stay with us!
8. Having a backyard!!

8 FAVORITE RESTAURANTS
1. Bocelli's
2. Subway
3. Earls (canada)
4. White Spot (canada)
5. Bajio's *probably my Favorite!
6. clays smoke house (only been once but it was delicious!)
7. Portland Chop and Steakhouse
8.

8 THINGS ON MY WISH LIST
1. To get in shape and run a half marathon
2. To own a house
3. To be financially independant
4. To go somewhere tropical with husband
5. To be a better mother
6. To be a better friend and a good example to others
7. This amazing pair of Rock and Republic jeans..there $240..will probably be on this list for a LONG time! haha
8. To have the Spirit with me more

8 people I tag:
Steve
Nachelle
Julie
Sabrina
Lacey
Jenny May
Jen the Mom
Katie T

I can't believe I forgot to post this....

2009-01-31T22:45:00.000-08:00

So, I never posted pics from my birthday weekend.

As I mentioned in a post below....I turned 30 on Dec 27th. On January 3rd, me and a few of my good friends: Katie, Katie, Honi, Tahsha and Myself stayed at the Embassy suites over night. It was just to get away from our kids and have a super fun girls night out...I wish I could have afforded to pay for more rooms so more of my friends could have come..but Steve only let me pay for one room.

We met at the hotel around 5pm and got ready to go for dinner. We took a tonne of stupid but fun self portraits and then we headed to bridgeport and ate at California pizza kitchen...

Afterwards we came back to the hotel and went in the hot tub and pool til about 1am....we were then up til 5am talking!!! Actually Katie T and Katie H were gabbing and I was barely keeping my ears open (eyes were definitely shut!) to listen to their hilarious conversation. Poor Tahsha was TRYING to get some sleep in the living room so she could go to work at 9am!

I think one of the funniest moments was having a doggie paddle race across the pool with Katie...and then when all 5 of us raced, Honi was swimming SO fast!! (doing the doggie paddle remember) and Katie T yells out "what the heck, you're like a freaking labradore!"....I just about drown I laughed so hard and had to reach for the ledge of the pool before I went under ...I'll never forget that!

the next morning we had our yummy "made to order" continental breakfast!! I didn't even know hotels did that?? then we met at Mothers restaurant with the rest of my friends for a late breakfast early lunch. It was so much fun! I love ALL my friends so much. I'm very blessed!!

So...Happy late 30th to me!. So far, 30 isn't bad......I only feel 28.

Tahsha, me and Katie T

Shopping in BCBG before dinner

Katie H and Katie T

Katie T and Honi

Me and Tahsh

having dinner

The Birthday Girl! That's me:)

Me and "dude" ...that's what I call her most of the time

The sweetest most amazing women you'll ever meet...

Our Doggie paddle race...we were laughing so hard and trying not to get our hair wet!!

I think Katie was doing her Monkey impression here???? Katie...thoughts?

"Steamy"

Amy, Becki and Daya...It's Becki's fault for not smiling! haha

All of us ladies for Breakfast at "Mothers" ...it was delish!!!!!!!!

Starting in the center and going left: Holly, (Porter), Amy, Becki, Daya, Susan, Katie T, Katie H, Gayle, Christie, Lacey, Me, Joy and Julie.

My birthday cake!!

So far behind...

2009-01-22T15:40:00.000-08:00

I know i'm so far behind...but I feel like i've spent this whole last week cleaning up snot, poop and vomit. Gross, I know...but tis the life of a mother:)

Erika is finally getting better...THANK GOODNESS! she has been nothing but WHINEY for 5 days...today she is finally smiling again...and EATING..
I took her to the Doctor yesterday and she is down to 27lbs 4oz....she was 29lbs in October and we're sure she gained from there, so she lost a few pounds this week from not eating...she even LOOKS skinnier to me..it's weird.

Poor baby...anyway, i'm just glad to have her feeling like herself again:)
Last week before all this happened though...we got a late Christmas present from our Aunti Hattie and Uncle Wes (who is also my 3rd cousin)...that's a long story..maybe i'll blog about it someday..you know about how Steve and I found out we were RELATED 6mos into our marriage:)
Anyway, back on track...so we got this late Christmas package...they sent Megan some stickers, a book and a little bear who has a virtual life on line. She has named her "Becca" and now sleeps with her everynight...i know that means she must REALLY love her b/c she only sleeps with Robbie and Puppy Love.....

They sent Erika this AMAZING Quilt. They made one for Megan too after she was born and I have LOVED them both! Both have such beautiful bright colors-which I love.

This one has little scottie dogs ( I think that's what they'r called?) all over them and it is Beautiful. I always feel so humbled when Hattie makes us a quilt b/c I know how much love and TIME went into it. She is super talented and has even won awards for some incredible quilts she has done. Erika has slept with it every night since and we will cherish it always.

Thank you Aunti Hattie!!!!

Here's a picture of sleepy Erika when she first got her quilt...isn't it beautiful??

And this is the Quilt that Hattie made Megan 4yrs ago. I love them!

Just had to share a funny moment....

2009-01-12T16:30:00.000-08:00

The other day Megan shouted the following from the toilet:

"Mommy...come here quick, there's chocolate in my underwear!!"

I can't explain the looks on Steve and I's face but I went running in there to find some little skid marks....and then I remembered she had wiped her own bum earlier that morning.

Oh gosh..these are the moments life is made of.

Steve and I secretly laughed our butts off (not wanting her to feel bad, we tried to hide our amusement) and then said "Megan that's NOT chocolate! "

This was about 4 days ago and we're still laughing about it.

Resetting....

2009-01-12T11:12:00.000-08:00

So today is day 1 of the Reset for me:)

This is to reset my metabolism and get rid of my carb and sugar cravings. The first time I did the reset after Megan was born I was at the same starting weight as I am now and I lost 8lbs....however this time I dont' think I eat as much as I used to so i'm curious to see if I even lose 2 lbs....not that that is why i'm doing it, but just curious to see.

Anyway, this means I will be eating nothing but Low glycemic shakes, bars and fruits and vegetables for 5 days!

This also means no cooking dinner (except for the girls) ! yahoo!!

wish me luck!

My little Ballerina part 2

2009-01-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

Megan had her frist dance Recital this week to showcase the dance they learned for Christmas. it was adorable!!!! Just look at her! she's such a little poser...just like her mommy:)
We were SO proud and Erika was just beside herself with Glee watching her!

Then of course Erika had to run out and give her a big hug!!